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November 25, 2005
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I speak today of monsters and reflections, the image that we hold over ourselves. The enemy that resides within us all.
An enemy is thought of someone who hurts or harms, this could not be farther from the truth. An enemy is one who holds hatred.
Holds resentment towards another, who holds no respect. Someone who builds walls, to hide themselves away.
But what enemy do I speak of, the thief in the night. The creature that hides giving us fear in the dark? No I speak of the enemy in the reflection.
The negative view we have when we look in the mirror, the monster we see looking threw us with our own eyes.
Hiding our joys our sexuality our choice on what to believe, just to be able to walk with the rest of the cutouts. To live a lie.
The media designs the images that are taught that beauty, that perfection; lives in the lies on the screen. We need to be a certain way to fit in.
We need to hate others that are different, to pick on someone who has contrasting views. To harm another because they are unique.
We now live in a world that is surrounded by labels, goth, emo, gay, slut, jock, just words to put us into different categories.
To separate us from another.
So when we grow we can gather in these classifications, never looking at anyone who differs from our cutout…
Why are we born afraid to be alive, to be who we want to be. To be able to look in the mirror and not see the guilt that is been put on us.
Or reflections are of the ignorance that we are taught, the words of abuse from our peers before us.
Why are we that monster that hides, telling us that we are not good? Seeing hideous reflections when we look at ourselves.
Hating that we are different.
Are we not born different, are we not born from different experiences. A completely new set of rules?
It’s our experiences that separate us, but we are still human. We have to stop hurting ourselves to stop hurting others.
To find love within that reflection. To understand that to follow your heart is not wrong.
I remember my enemy, I tried to destroy him all my life. I hated him.
My waking goal was not to see this monster anymore.
To seek the best way to destroy that beast, to kill him before he hurt others.
I was taught that my feelings were wrong. That my thoughts were foul. That everything I did had to be this way.
Or no other.
I asked for no help, running from people who wanted to bring me in, to keep me safe.
It took most of my life to love that reflection, to understand that I did not have to accept the things that I was taught.
That as long as I hurt no other, then I can hold myself high, to love myself. Then to finally love another.
I hope most of you see the beauty that you are, not the beast that you think you are.
That you can hold the love of yourself while loving others, and understanding that no one should be hurt.
That we all should have respect for ourselves and treat others the same. We are not that different, we are all the same.