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Comment By:  Filthy on April 27, 2009 03:01:27 PM |
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If someone were to ask me why i love poetry...i would happily show them this.
This one is going into my faves.
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| Comment By: Julie on February 13, 2009 02:34:37 PM |
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Painfully honest. My favorite part is the mention of idle emotions. What a perfect description!
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| Comment By: Angel on January 12, 2009 07:33:16 AM |
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You are gifted with words darlin
Wonderful
Love Angelxx
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| Comment By: Amy on January 8, 2009 02:09:11 AM |
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If poetry is intended to make the reader feel....you have hit your mark. This oozes heartache. Each verse can stand alone as a short poem but together I got a triple tug at the ol' heartstrings.
Enjoyed as always
~Amy
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Comment By:  Henry M. on November 15, 2008 09:17:24 PM |
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Heartache and disillusionment prevail in this poem Barbara, you may be wounded but you are far from weak! Henry
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| Comment By: Leonard Wilson on November 12, 2008 11:01:53 PM |
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Great poem of heartbreak, Barb...Very effective wording...len
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| Comment By: Alison Storm Wolf on November 12, 2008 04:48:21 AM |
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I hear your voice all the way through...
Ali x
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| Comment By: SilkinTears on November 10, 2008 12:08:21 PM |
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Wow Barbara...deep powerful and full of emotion. Oh yes is he only knew that a heart in ruin is a worthless prize. Oh but his eyes cannot see for he is blind.
Helen
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| Comment By: Heike on November 9, 2008 06:54:29 AM |
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Barbara, what an amazing poem, or perhaps rather a song of the deepest emotion there is.
I understood the Trojan horse metaphor in that the narrator thought that she had conquered love and now realizes that it had been an illusion.
In any way, this is wonderfully written.
~Heike
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| Comment By: CeeCee on November 8, 2008 10:19:49 PM |
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Nice imagergy, Barbara, and depth of feeling...loved the line about the barbs "drown[ing] in depths of idle emotion.
Cari
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| Comment By: Steve on November 8, 2008 10:18:50 PM |
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The affect of your poem is greater than the sum of the words..
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| Comment By: FLETCHER on November 8, 2008 05:25:13 PM |
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Being I have drown in depths of idle emotions myself I could realy relate to this one Barbara.
Wonderful write.
Fletch
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| Comment By: Richard Michael Cronin on November 8, 2008 02:56:14 PM |
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Comment By:  Jerome on November 8, 2008 02:05:08 PM |
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Oh theres a lovely heart in there Barbara.
What heart does'nt have a bit of ruin in it?.
Great as always your poems are.
Jerry.
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| Comment By: noah count on November 8, 2008 01:18:52 PM |
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Just tell me where this heart ruiner lives.
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| Comment By: David Turner on November 8, 2008 01:12:04 PM |
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The first verse Barbara seems a bit mixed in metaphorical terms.
I am not sure whether the words are are being carried along with the wind or are floting down a river. Perhaps you shold make this stanza into two?
E.G.
Does he know
I have my ear to the wind
And its whispering
Brings me news
That hurts my ears.
Does he know
I float in the fast currents of rejection My heart catching at his every word
Even those whose barbs
Hook fresh wounds
Also I was a bit puzzled by the images in the last stanza.
The first two lines seem contradictory, would it be beter to say:-
Does he know
Fool's paradise is not heaven
and
I am but a broken Trojan horse
A heart in ruin
Is a worthless prize
Here 'a broken Trojan Horse' seems a complex image. An unbroken Trojan horse has to be a succesful and clever trick - so a broken Trojan horse is one in which the trick has been exposed.
I presume you want to say that you have been smashed and ruined so perhaps a different classical image would be more appropriate say:-
I am but a broken Acropolis
A heart in ruin
Is a worthless prize
David
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