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Author Name: Premiumshortcakes25 1 Comments
Date Added: October 15, 2009 15:10:08 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Abuse Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
WHATS RIGHT SO VERY WRONG!
WHAT'S RIGHT, SO VERY WRONG!
Can you see the fight?
Her will not to give in,
the hope, that happiness is in the end.
That her choice is right,
Even through the tears,
Even through the pain.
She can't let go.
She won't leave!
Can you see the night?
The one , when she finally wakes up,
and hands in air,
throat hoarse from and with failure.
Her faith dissapated, snuffed,
knowing the fights unequal, unfair,
as she leaves, walks out!
Can you see whats right?
When loneliness, shame sets in,
and you realize anger and rage,
was never her idea, her plan!
It's too late now, she's gone.
She's not ever coming back.
Yourself is all you ,
have left to face.
Your fists,your hateful words,
turned whats right so terribly,
terribly wrong!
Author's Notes:
A Warning to those who just can't seem to get past their rage. One day they will realize they are better thaqn what you have to offer and they will find real love and peace.
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'WHATS RIGHT SO VERY WRONG!' Copyright © maggie lopez sherry wilbur
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Comments:
Comment By: Freechris on October 16, 2009 02:03:46 PM Report
Well done, I like the jumbled rhyme scheme, it all has a flowing rhythm. The only part I thought where the poem lacked that power is in the last two lines it kind of ends with a cliche. Perhaps rewording a bit might make this feel more emotional.  




 


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