I felt just like a Wookie at
A Star Trek convention!
Or a bit like Flipper on a
I hadnít been to church in years,
Not since I was a boy.
Though I grew up with Father Tim,
And his kid brother Coy.
I once put a water tight seal
In Timís Silverado bed.
Then I filled it up with water,
And threw in some steel head.
Olí Tim didnít even notice
The water, or the trout,
When he got into that Chevy,
And peeled the sucker out.
When he stopped at a traffic light
At Main Street and McNab,
A fish jumped through his back window,
And landed in the cab.
The good Father was so startled,
And overcome with fear,
That he screamed and jumped from the
While it was still in gear!
It started rolling down main street
And Tim was getting sick.
That fish didnít have a license,
And couldnít drive a stick!
It slammed into a Peterbuilt
A block shy of town square,
The loss of life was staggering,
There was trout everywhere!
The townís folk gathered up those fish,
And then prepared a feast.
ĎCause Tim decided, then and there,
To go become a priest.
And here we are ten years later,
Its time that I confessed,
To all the pranks I played on him,
For which I must be blessed.
Since he became a full fledged priest,
He should live and let live
The times he caught me with his mom,
He will have to forgive.
Are priests supposed to curse like
What a mouth on that guy!!
And when I turned the other cheek,
He punched me in the eye!
Confession is good for the soul,
At least thatís what I hear.
But itís sure hard on the body,
And that part wasnít clear.
Would Jesus do something like that???
ĎCause I donít think he would!!
Heíd look past all the bad in me,
And focus on the good!
There has to be some good in there!
Just look past all that sin!
What do you mean you donít see it???
Well dang it, LOOK AGAIN!!!
I am as good as I can be!!
Just like any other.
And Tim, if you donít believe that,
Go and ask your mother!!
Then I felt that collection plate
Ricochet off my head,
And I knew if I didnít leave,
I just might wind up dead.
But that experience taught me
To use more discretion,
When I tell him Ďbout his sister,
At my next confession.