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Author Name: FreeJim Kistner Jr 10 Comments
Date Added: October 19, 2011 19:10:12 Average Score: 7.7
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Love Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
When You're Not Here With Me
Like branches in the winter wood,
no leaves on barren trees,
or riverbeds from lack of rain
that dry within the breeze...

Like candles shown without a flame,
no dark dispelled with light,
or children who have no one near
to comfort them at night...

Like cups that water do not hold
no way to quench the thirst
or crippled legs that yearn to run
but cannot come in first....

Like birds with wings that never fly
not know the meaning "free"
my empty, yearning heart are these
when you're not here with me.

Author's Notes:
Written 10-19-2011 Every minute you're not here, I miss you ....
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'When You're Not Here With Me' Copyright © Jim Kistner Jr
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Comments:
Comment By: PremiumLindaM on February 11, 2013 12:21:45 AM Report

Think this poem is just lovely Jim.

I like the comparrisons and the gentle yet expressive feel of this poem.

Linda

Comment By: FreeJoanna on October 1, 2012 08:40:27 AM Report
Lovely poem :) Thank you
Comment By: TrialTheresa Avalos on April 7, 2012 09:12:03 PM Report
I really enjoyed your poem; it has such a soft sensation to it 
Comment By: FreeLubaina on February 20, 2012 05:15:28 AM Report
Good work! This poem is to the point, as well, as it is emotionally expressive to those of its audience...Sweet love.. Nice write from your heart.An enjoyable read that speaks true to many people seeking true love ....
Comment By: PremiumDean on October 23, 2011 10:51:45 AM Report
A great story of  love & longing
~Dean 

Comment By: PremiumDan J. Mazurek on October 20, 2011 09:11:58 PM Report


Jim you always inspire me to strive for the technique you exhibit so well here.


Comment By: PremiumShe Whispers on October 20, 2011 04:00:27 PM Report
So sad to read this poem it cluthes ones heart so much!! I hope she returns soon!!
Comment By: FreeRobbie on October 20, 2011 01:41:23 PM Report
You really made me feel the emotion of wanting and missing someone so much that it hurts deep inside your heart.  I as everyone I'm sure has felt this pain in their lives before
Comment By: PremiumShirls on October 20, 2011 12:15:40 AM Report


This is great Jim.


 

Comment By: AdminRichardM on October 19, 2011 07:18:17 PM Report
I really felt this one, Jim. The rhyme seems understated as does the emotion, but it's all there. Touched my heart. Wonderful!




 


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