My Shrill Scream Pierces The Air

My shrill scream pierces the air and should reach your ears –

The news just ripped out my heart and gnawed at my brain;

Senses have shut down but nothing can stop the tears –

Then slowly through the numbness I can feel the pain;

O sweet Lord what is Your plan – please tell me your goal?

Why have You taken her – could it be me instead?

Let it be me and I promise You my lost soul –

It feels as though You have pricked me and I have bled;

The rawness of this cruel separation sears me –

Like a flaming sword has been thrust deep in my heart;

My love is gone – heart is broken – my soul is free –

It flies apart from me – my love and I apart;

What sorrow for the loved ones that are left behind –

Who dig down deep for their faith and wisdom to find.

When I was younger I thought that to die in place of somebody I love would be a good thing. In fact it would save me all the pain, all the tears. Especially for my mother. But now I know that it would be the most selfish thing to do. Everyone has their time for leaving and holding them back or taking their place would do nothing. But the heart doesn't care.