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Author Name: Freelubaina 3 Comments
Date Added: September 20, 2004 06:09:54 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Depression Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Instead Of Me......The pain goes deep
You are with her tonight






The pain goes deep






I think of her beside you






As you sleep













Your body pressed






Against her oh so tight






Loving her as you were






A little earlier tonight













Your mouth upon hers






As you kiss her oh so sweet






Then with fever mounting






In you running deep













Your hands your lips caressing






Her instead of me






Kissing stroking licking






Her body tenderly













Making love to her each night






From dusk till dawn






Holding her instead of me






From now on













Lubaina Raaj




















Author's Notes:
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'Instead Of Me......The pain goes deep' Copyright © Lubaina
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeAntonia on January 25, 2005 01:09:25 PM Report
very DEEP...
Comment By: FreeAndrew Rymill on September 21, 2004 06:31:51 AM Report
Lubaina,
Well written great movement very fluid. The suffering just rises and rises until you slip it in to last line
for a knock-out which is colored by the proggression of your poem.
Great use of craft.
May All Your Paths Flow:
~Andrew
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 20, 2004 07:09:06 AM Report
LUDS .. THIS POEM I KNOW ALL TO WELL ..IT HITS HOME.. READ MY POEM TODAY ?? EYES OF __STRAY
YOU WILL LIKE
~ MORNING GLORY MORNING ~
I WROTE YESTERDAY!! LOVE ~ SHE
LATER ~ SHE




 


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