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Author Name: FreeThunder Wolf 17 Comments
Date Added: September 23, 2004 00:09:01 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Short Stories Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Zar the mercenary (part one)
Night is swiftly aproaching as the man struggles to keep going. He is so exhausted and hungry. He is sick and tired of this seemingly endless forest. It's canopy is so dense that he can only catch a small glimpse of the sky above every so often. It is like living is a world of perpetual dusk, not dark but not light either. Zar still had not seen any living thing since he entered this strange place. "If I don't find some water soon I am going to be in some serious trouble." He mutters. He had used the last of his water from his canteen earlier in the day and could already feel his mind telling him that he was getting thirsty. Zar has been listening for the sounds of running water for over a day but the dark imposing canopy of the trees seemed to suppress even most of the sound. The only sound he has heard for the last couple of days has been the sounds made by him as he ran through the forest. Zar spots a very large oak tree with a growth of soft moss on the ground beneath it. Zar decides that this is a good spot to stop and rest for a while. He sat down on the soft bed of moss and leaned back against the massive trunk of the old oak tree. His eyelids are so heavy and his body is exhausted after running almost nonstop for two days. He slowly allows his eyes to close, he figures he will get up in an hour or so and start off again. He awakes with a start. "How long have I been asleep?" He asks himself. Zar looks up to try and judge the time by the sky. From what little he can see it appears to be early morning. "Oh well, no harm I quess." He says, he had heard no sounds of pursuit for over a day and a half now. Zar pauses for a moment and starts to recall the events that had occurred and how he had come to find himself in this predicament.....
Author's Notes:
This is my first attempt at a short story and this is the first part of the story. If people like it I will continue with the story.
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'Zar the mercenary (part one)' Copyright © Richard Johnson
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeConjugatingWizard on September 8, 2005 08:19:07 PM Report
I liked this alot I hope that you keep up this style u earned the award

Comment By: Freejoia on July 30, 2005 04:16:52 PM Report
The intro did its job, I was ready to turn the page and read on. Story telling is an art onto itself, and you have the talent. Will we hear "the rest of the story?" Great job so far, joia
Comment By: AdminRichardM on July 28, 2005 09:57:34 PM Report
Reading this chapter again, its just as great as last time! Congratulations Richard!!
Rich
Comment By: FreeJeff on July 28, 2005 08:31:34 AM Report
Congratulations on being honored on a great write,

Jeff
Comment By: PremiumLindaM on July 27, 2005 11:10:43 PM Report
Congratulations on winning the award for this
wonderful piece.
Linda
Comment By: FreeCathy on July 26, 2005 09:54:23 PM Report
What an amaziing first attempt so very excellent loved it. Congratulations on your well deserved award Bravo to you
Cathy
Comment By: FreeRobert Neal on July 26, 2005 10:13:23 AM Report
I would say this is far more than an attempt, and if you are properly inspired it may grow beyond a short story and become a novel or more ... well done.
Comment By: FreeSamantha Firefly on July 26, 2005 07:00:49 AM Report
This is a very interesting beginning. Congratulations on your award.
Samantha.
Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on July 25, 2005 08:31:46 PM Report
Oh babe, I'm so happy for you. I new this was your calling. Not poetry but writing.
I love you
Gentle Dove
Comment By: FreeLady Literary on July 25, 2005 08:29:22 PM Report
and????? *lol*
Congrats on the award..
Lisa
Comment By: FreeLady Literary on July 25, 2005 06:16:59 PM Report
and????? *lol*
Congrats on the award..
Lisa
Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on July 25, 2005 03:31:11 PM Report
And, here you have captured an award with Zar~! Good for you, Richard~!
Margaret...the bag lady
Comment By: AdminRichardM on July 18, 2005 12:18:39 AM Report
This is the start of something really nice. A great beginning it is!
Rich
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on September 29, 2004 02:41:15 PM Report
I think you have found you niche,Richard.This story is very well told, indeed.I really liked the tease,at the end..Gets the reader [me] interested in finding out more.Well written,Richard....REALLY!I don't believe in spreading honey on a dung pile. I really like this...len
Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on September 23, 2004 02:14:26 PM Report
Very interesting write, Richard, and I am loving the name "Zar"...I see an action figure in the future~ I will now roll my cart to part two of your work~ Keep writing, my friend....
Margaret...the old bag lady, who saw a flash of Zar
Comment By: FreeCarrie on September 23, 2004 09:24:00 AM Report
I think this is a great 1st part, Richard. Please keep writing. Can't wait for part two.
Carrie
Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on September 23, 2004 01:12:02 AM Report
Bravo Babe. This is awesome. See, I told you you could write.
love you Gentle Dove




 


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