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Author Name: ModeratorJillian Alexis 3 Comments
Date Added: June 27, 2005 01:06:43 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Rants/Venting Add To Favorites | Text Only
Do u have any idea the pain I am in? Do u even care? U were never there while I was growing up, u were too busy playing, "Navy man". Neither u or my Mother wanted children, so why did u fertilize 2? Did u ever think about me and my sister, while u were traveling the world, going on vacations, and among other things, never having any more responsibility than to do your' job correctly. U were a fine sailor, but a cruddy dad. Do u know how a seven year old little girl felt, when it was, "Daddy show and tell" day at school? That child was me, and everyone had there daddy there except me. What did I do wrong. Was I that bad of a little girl that neither u nor my mom wanted or loved me? I still wonder, and I probably always will. The anger burns within my very soul. Where were u? Why weren't u ever there? Oh sure, u came for visits, yearly ones at that. Did u think I was some sort of doll that u could play with when it was convenient for u? Well I wasn't! I was a little person who had feelings that were ignored. I had dreams that never came true. I had wishes that became only dreams, impossible to fulfill. I needed u so, and u weren't there. And now u r old, and I am the only one to take care of u. Most daughters would turn u away, but because I am a Christian, and God says in His word to take care of your' parents, I feel it is the right thing to do. I don't hate u, I am simply angry. It is not a sin to be angry, Jesus became angry many times. It is what u do when u r angry that is a sin. U tell me that u stayed in the Navy to benefit me when I grew up. Well guess what, I needed u more now than then. I know u have done alot of things for me, and I truly appreciate it. But, I would have rather had a full time Daddy growing up, then to reap the "benefits" of the money u r now recieving. I will always need a mom and dad. I have accepted that I will never have a Mom, and I have come to terms with the fact that I was only, "Daddy's little girl", who wore lacey dresses and was your' little girl when it was easy or convenient for u. Don't u dare tell me how to raise my children, u have no experience with that area. I have much more to say, but I don't want to say something I will regret. I always needed you Daddy Joe, why weren't u ever there?
Author's Notes:
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'~WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE FOR ME~' Copyright © Jillian K. Alexis
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
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Comment By: Freeaspiring sage on June 10, 2009 08:19:53 AM Report
Thanks for this. it sounds like you still have a lot to work through in relation to your dad. i hope writing in this way at least feels you can give expression to your feelings and have them heard even if it's not your dad!
take care
love,light, peace

Comment By: FreeMaryjane on December 22, 2005 03:08:57 AM Report
Very interesting. My dad was a navy man too. I remember him going over seas for 6 months when I was younger and I don't remember missing him so much as you expressed in this poem. I just remember him being a stranger to me, when he'd come back. Benefits, i hear that word too from my parents. because my dad injured his foot and is in the navy, me and my brothers get to go to college for free, but that was in a car accident and he was drunk driving!
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on June 27, 2005 08:21:52 AM Report


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