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Author Name: FreeGaia 5 Comments
Date Added: October 12, 2005 08:10:39 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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The Lost Child

A cold winter night,

With a few stars bright

The rains hits the walls

And snow begins to fall

A child outside

Cold and deprived

Holding a worn out teddy

And looking on hazy

Watching families pass

With his hand wrapped in a ripped open cast

He sits on the sidewalk

And hopes for his mother to pass

Or his dad to find him at last

But his dream hasn’t come true

He is left alone

To fight and defend

This is the child’s beginning

And possibly his end

Author's Notes:
I think when i wrote this, i was thinking of a small child being abandoned by his parents or possibly his parents died and no one would look after him,The poem isn't actually finished i was going to write more but i decided i wanted the readers to make the ending of this poem.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeMeg on January 19, 2006 01:52:56 PM Report
:( This reminds me of Hans Christian Anderson's story "The Little Girl With Matches." If you haven't read it before, you might, and perhaps it will inspire you to add something to this, although it is wonderful as is :). Very heartfelt write. Thank you for sharing:)
XOXO Cheerios XOXO
Meg
Comment By: Freelily axelle on January 17, 2006 09:49:27 PM Report
wow. this is an amazing poem! i can see this poor child sitting alone....
you have got something special that makes us all see your vision. never stop writing!
Comment By: FreeMeghan on January 5, 2006 11:27:16 AM Report
This is a beautifully sad poem. I really liked the descriptions you've used. I feel like I am watching this poor little child myself.
Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on October 12, 2005 04:57:02 PM Report
Ryan~!
Your work is quite visual, as we see the child, and see the surroundings and his emotions~ I think it stands on its own, but if you chose to enhance, perhaps just bring in the background of how he might have gotten there, and then a result?
It is good as it is...
Margaret..the bag lady
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on October 12, 2005 09:44:00 AM Report
RYAN. YOU SIR, ARE BECOMING A GREAT WRITER KEEP THEM POEMS COMING..~ SHE




 


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