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Author Name: Freepenfold18 8 Comments
Date Added: April 25, 2006 11:04:08 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
A Recipe For Disaster.

Lets decorate the bedroom
I think thats what I said
I started peeling wallpaper
And lumps fell on my head

The plasters coming off the wall
I think it needs a skim
So now I'm faced with lots of work
Because of just a whim

The ceilings got some cracks in it
I know I'll start up there
And so I stripped the artex off
And lumps fell in my hair

The radiators got to move
To plaster up the wall
I think I'll turn the water off
And give plumber Dave a call

And so I turned the water off
Then took the rad. right out
And suddenly I'm splashing
Because theres water all about

A faulty valve I heard Dave say
I'll fix it in awhile
And then he looked around the room
I'm sure I saw him smile

We might as well have new points put in
It sounded like deaths knell
And now its cost a fortune
to re-wire the house as well

The doorframe needs replacing
As does the bedroom door
I swear they heard me down the road
Before the plaster hit the floor

The electricians done their job
The plasters come and gone
So now I'll start to decorate
Surely nothing can go wrong?

So I sanded down the woodwork
And started to undercoat
A few days grafting in the room
I could'nt help but gloat

And the I saw a floorboard
Sticking up all curled and brown
And no I won't replace it
I'll just nail the bugger down

So next time you think you'll decorate
Give a thought before you start
It might look all straight forward now
Then again it could all fall apart.

Author's Notes:
Sadly this is a true story,now I don't decorate I just move house.
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'A Recipe For Disaster.' Copyright © Graham Jones
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeKelli on July 17, 2006 10:25:16 AM Report
I laughed the whole way through this! Sounds like a true pain in the neck, but you've told this story hilariously! I enjoyed this very much!
Comment By: FreeGlata on April 28, 2006 09:29:36 AM Report
LOL I hear you on this one! Remodeling can end up costing a small fortune. We're going to have to replace flooring and showers in our bathrooms...God help us then!
You've taken a real pain of a job and made a hysterical write out of it!
Hugs...and smiles, Graham...
Glata
Comment By: FreeKevin Dutton on April 26, 2006 08:57:55 AM Report
Just bought my first house, and I know exactly what you mean.

Super stuff,

Kevin
Comment By: FreeKAREN on April 26, 2006 04:12:18 AM Report
I have done this myself lol and its a pain in the neck. Its a bigger project than what we think lol...

Karen
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on April 25, 2006 11:17:07 PM Report
SIR GRAHAM,
YOU ARE JUST AWESOME I LAUGHED THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY.. THIS IS A SCREAM .. SO DARN FUNNY AND THATS THE WAY IT USUALLY IS WHEN YOU TRY TO DECORATE THE HOME((SMILES)) I NEED A GOOD LAUGH...HOPE YOU HAVE MORE FUNNY POES LIKE THIS!!
ALWAYS ~ SCARLETT
Comment By: FreeMichael on April 25, 2006 09:38:13 PM Report
As usual, you've spun your tale with threads of reality reinforcing the fabric of an entertaining poem! However, I do question your sanity at suggesting a bedroom makeover.
Comment By: FreeTalitha Lindsey on April 25, 2006 02:43:36 PM Report
lol............ why redocorate when you can buy or move to an new house .....lol
love it
Comment By: FreeAngel on April 25, 2006 12:29:18 PM Report
Oh no what a disaster! I cannot hang wallpaper but I am a dab hand at painting never did try plastering lol. Bet you can laugh now this was so funny not at the time for you I bet.

Brilliant

love Angelxx




 


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