Lets decorate the bedroom
I think thats what I said
I started peeling wallpaper
And lumps fell on my head

The plasters coming off the wall
I think it needs a skim
So now I'm faced with lots of work
Because of just a whim

The ceilings got some cracks in it
I know I'll start up there
And so I stripped the artex off
And lumps fell in my hair

The radiators got to move
To plaster up the wall
I think I'll turn the water off
And give plumber Dave a call

And so I turned the water off
Then took the rad. right out
And suddenly I'm splashing
Because theres water all about

A faulty valve I heard Dave say
I'll fix it in awhile
And then he looked around the room
I'm sure I saw him smile

We might as well have new points put in
It sounded like deaths knell
And now its cost a fortune
to re-wire the house as well

The doorframe needs replacing
As does the bedroom door
I swear they heard me down the road
Before the plaster hit the floor

The electricians done their job
The plasters come and gone
So now I'll start to decorate
Surely nothing can go wrong?

So I sanded down the woodwork
And started to undercoat
A few days grafting in the room
I could'nt help but gloat

And the I saw a floorboard
Sticking up all curled and brown
And no I won't replace it
I'll just nail the bugger down

So next time you think you'll decorate
Give a thought before you start
It might look all straight forward now
Then again it could all fall apart.