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Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 41 Comments
Date Added: February 09, 2007 21:02:46 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Scavenger

I watched your serpentine dance,
Mesmerized, entranced.
Dropping your coils
Down over my heart,
Patched in bright green and sunlight-filtered scales,
Easing their weight forward
Under a compulsion of the jungle itself,
Expanding as they squeezed my heart tighter.
Blood splattered the parched earth.
My last breath surrendered,
Given up to feed
Your momentary need.
Inhaling me,
Your jaw unhinged to
Swallow all I am.
Take your fill,
Drawing me deeper within.
Where once sated,
You regurgitated my bones
Onto the jungle floor,
To be picked over
By any scavenger.
Author's Notes:
My deepest and most sincere thanks to Mr. Pointy, our own beloved
Ross McCague, to whom I owe so much....
Thanks Ross!
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeRobin Constantinou on August 20, 2007 03:39:11 PM Report
strange how i missed this piece of art, great write as usual, congrats on the award, i think this is my newest favourite,
~Robin

Comment By: PremiumBlake Hightdudis on February 16, 2007 11:06:52 PM Report
Wonderful descriptive write, Well desrved award honor.
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on February 10, 2007 04:00:46 PM Report
Lovely Jolen,

 Now how in the world  did I missed this awesome poem.. it is truly amazing the detailed story  of what happens as you watch this dance and what it does to the mind and heart..

Hugs She Whispers

Comment By: Freeleroy taylor fiddler lyon on December 6, 2006 11:32:36 PM Report
pretty good poem i like it


Comment By: FreePaul Peter McLean on October 26, 2006 06:19:00 PM Report
The secret to the power of this poem is the detail you put into the description of the snake, the way it moves, the way it looks, the mesmerising effect it has on anyone who sees it, and especially the way it eats and regurgitates. Lines 8 and 9 and particularly powerful, linking "heart" and "blood", and I like the sudden appearance of the rhyming lines, which have the effect of making the reader pause just long enough to take in the preceding images. Great work.
Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on October 9, 2006 03:50:16 PM Report
Wow!  You're just as wonderful without a rhyme scheme at all! Great descriptors, flow, mood... my favorite part was from "down over my heart" to "My last breath surrendered" I felt a little claustro for a moment there!
Comment By: FreeBruce A. Peaslee on September 8, 2006 04:54:06 PM Report
Jody -  This is a fascinating work,  It is interesting that put youself into the position of a contrictor's prey.  I can envision the corellary between the serpent and prey and someone being swallowed up in the life an needs of another.  Congratulations Jody.

 

---Poetrydad---

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on July 30, 2006 04:24:03 AM Report
LOve it, Aces,,I really liked this one...Love ya...yereverlovin
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on July 28, 2006 06:00:49 AM Report
BAM!! And the Sorceress wins again...well not the joust with the snake but the FP award. You had me wriggling in my skin and hiding my eyes, least I watch the dance and fall victim to the same fate. CONGRATULATIONS, this is awesome! =))

~Barbara~

Comment By: ModeratorJillian K. Alexis on July 25, 2006 08:12:24 PM Report
Congratulations Jody for your' featured poem award...Hugz...Jillian
Comment By: FreeCynthia Jones on July 25, 2006 09:29:36 AM Report
Congrats for your muchly deserved award. *S* Wind Whisperer
Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on July 24, 2006 01:10:33 PM Report

As expected my Dear sorceress! Congrats on the award. No one stands a chance when you're in the running!


Comment By: FreeGlata on July 24, 2006 08:10:53 AM Report
Congrats, yet again! Lovely work, hon!  Hugs and love to ya...Glata
Comment By: FreeAdri on July 24, 2006 02:58:53 AM Report

My J...  you know who I feel about your writes and this poem... Picasso again my J... this was beyond raw and real. Congrats my J, you are officially my hero and my mentor now, and the best, my friend and my J... lol
Love this, and you!!!
Adri x


Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on July 23, 2006 10:33:11 PM Report
Chilling write, Jolen.....It brings the reader to the grim part of reality in being used and spit out for scavangers.....Congratulations on the Award.....Strikingly done....

Margaret....

Comment By: FreeTracy Fletcher on July 23, 2006 09:25:12 PM Report
A very descriptive feeling of being eatten alive.
Congratulations for winning a Featured Poem Award.
Tracy

Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on July 23, 2006 07:42:17 PM Report
Congratulations on the well-deserved award you Witchy Woman! 

The allure of the "serpentine dance" and the sacrifice of the "last breath surrendered" are vivid to the point of reality.

You did good, young lady :)

Comment By: FreeJ on July 1, 2006 04:12:28 AM Report
And you said my metaphor was good! This is fantastic. I had almost forgotten how great of a writer you are. Almost.
Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on June 29, 2006 11:46:32 AM Report
Well, this sexy serpent has certainly slithered to surround my heart.
Comment By: FreeWide Awake on June 24, 2006 03:23:49 PM Report
Oh my....very...pointy, indeed~

Well said dear lady...sadly truthful, how some people are...

A spades a spade....no point calling it anything else hm.

Hugs,
Pamela

Comment By: FreeSavanahB on June 11, 2006 09:55:12 PM Report
Sounds like the ultimate Sorceress orgasm, lots of sqirming and stuff splattering.. yep, yep, yep.....5 more points lost......

 

TMC...

 

Rolling in the floor and peeing my pants!

Comment By: Freejoey on June 10, 2006 09:34:53 PM Report
boy oh boy  your writing changed much since I have been away
but it got much deeper and harder hitting
and now you are really my queen on the site of course
good job at making me see how a little mouse feels when
the big bad snake (Chomps) him down

Comment By: FreeTim Fleckney on June 9, 2006 10:33:37 PM Report
I loved this one, it may just be me but it felt like a love poem, as I say it could just be me I've been told I'm a bit twisted.

Tim

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on June 5, 2006 06:19:30 PM Report
Hey, folks... My Aces got The Nips award on the UK site for this.. Let's ALL give her the clap!!!
Comment By: FreeEdward Kent on June 5, 2006 05:17:39 PM Report
Wonderful as always Jody , your poetry is I pleasure to read,,,huggs you me
Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on June 5, 2006 04:27:19 PM Report

Loved then tossed aside. But you make it all seem so passionate to be picked over. jp


Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on June 5, 2006 04:17:33 PM Report
Wow.  Really like the parallel writing here. 
Comment By: FreeGlata on June 5, 2006 11:35:36 AM Report
Uh....ouch? Sounds like you have been totally squeezed, and not always in the best sense...and I can relate to that!

Great job, by the way!

Hugs...but not the kind that squeeze the life out of ya!

Love you...

Glata

Comment By: FreeHenry M. on June 5, 2006 08:26:16 AM Report
Beautiful Jody, just beautiful! It is amazing how we allow certain people to hold power over us, not just in love but , in life.    Henry
Comment By: FreeDarkness Rides This Night on June 5, 2006 05:27:04 AM Report
Wow..! Speaks on so many levels my friend..! I think all of us has had this sorta relationship either good or bad or otherwise and i think thats why it talks to me this way..! Excellent write jody.. !
Comment By: FreeAdri on June 5, 2006 03:07:18 AM Report

WOW!  You take my breath away. Astoundingly beautiful! You do with words what Picasso did with paint.
Adri x


Comment By: Freetom on June 5, 2006 12:36:38 AM Report
mmmmmmmmmmm the sweet tasting Jody another fantastic penning

hugs kisses

tom

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on June 5, 2006 12:27:30 AM Report
Powerful stuff, Aces..Talk about lovin' on a one-way street!!...The imageryry is breathtaking, just like a boa..Hee hee...Yerevernonconstrictingfurball
Comment By: FreeCeeCee on June 4, 2006 11:56:57 PM Report
Wow, Jody!  What a vibrant description of being used....may the healing breath of God blow and revive those bones into beautiful you again before the scavengers get them! :-)

 

Awesome write!

 

CeeCee

Comment By: Freeb doneff on June 4, 2006 09:23:29 PM Report
Hot Damn! You know what us country folk do when we see a poisonous snake don't you? We get the hoe and chop off their heads..I still got mine around here somewhere,. lolol...what a read gorgeous, what a read. BB
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on June 4, 2006 07:55:29 PM Report
What! I said goodnight before I left you last night! LOL! Incredible Jody, very descriptive. Joe
Comment By: FreeSharon Jorcil James on June 4, 2006 06:48:26 PM Report
Love the  parallels used here`Jody.......likening a lover to a jungle creature/ serpent / scarvenger.

This is a fantastic write my friend.

 

Sharon JJ

Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on June 4, 2006 05:59:45 PM Report
My admirers may like to know that I completed the edit assistance in a matter of seconds through

a shape-shifting exericise. I just drew myself close to the man who is pestering her to death right now and strangled. The words just emerged in a primal scream.

Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on June 4, 2006 05:23:13 PM Report
Now that's intense. I like the finished product better. Hope I don't get any hate mail.
Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on June 4, 2006 04:05:39 PM Report

Charming. The rebound is equally well-realized and delightful. Curious that the coils didn't get the 'zeroed in on' treatment to match the aesthetic with the emotional horror. I don't know like:


your coils around me,


patched in off-green and wooden-brown sunlight filtered scales,


expanding as they squeezed my heart ever so tighter,


drawing me deeper within

 

Snake horror etc. graphically rendered with jungle sweat and mysterious eyes in the gloom sort of thing.

Comment By: FreeAngel on June 4, 2006 03:46:27 PM Report
Bet you taste sweet J. Brilliant

 

Love Angelxxx





 


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