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Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 49 Comments
Date Added: September 11, 2007 06:09:29 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Topic Of The Week/Dawn Add To Favorites Listen To Poem | Text Only
 
It's Dawn, So You Know...
Dawn tip-toed in quietly,
as if not to disturb the Night,
which while dreaming sweetly,
was unwilling to greet the light.

Whispering of a new age,
days filled with prismatic hue,
the shadows surrendered
all their shades of grayish-blue.

Lavender spreads its silken wings
preparing to take flight.
Morning came-a-waltzing, wearing
shoes that seemed too tight.

If only for a moment, magic
held the memories at bay.
I sat in quiet reflection;
there was nothing else to say.
Author's Notes:

Props going out to Linear for the visionary title :o)

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Comments:
Comment By: Freeb doneff on September 11, 2007 08:52:05 AM Report
I don't know if you have condisered wallpaper with all these ribbons yet or not, but, you're gonna HAVE to think of something to do with them! lol..Honestly, this write has to be one of my all time favs from any writer, anywhere, anytime.  I mean that..it just settles into me, and I "feel" it, ..mourn it, could read it over and over again. Seriously. You know when something just grabs you up, and this one does me. I can be jealous all day long over this, because I can't get my brain to work this way; but in the end, all I really am, is happy that someone put it to words. I curtsey to the queen in love, admiration, and thankfulness for all she is..
Congrats..
Your bb
Comment By: FreePaul Peter McLean on September 2, 2007 07:00:02 PM Report

I see I'm the next in a long line of admirers of this work. I enjoyed the personification of the different parts of the day, giving each its own character. I liked the line "Morning came a-waltzing, wearing/shoes that seemed too tight". And the last line is a wonderful finale.


Comment By: FreeSandra M.Hill Veinot on August 18, 2007 05:22:53 PM Report
Lavender spreads its silken wings
preparing to take flight.
Morning came-a-waltzing, wearing
shoes that seemed too tight.

 

best verse, making the poem filled with worth!

Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on May 18, 2007 09:51:36 PM Report
utterly in awe of your genius J ....pure perfection!

~cindy

Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on May 18, 2007 01:23:32 AM Report
I guess you cant congrats your self so I'll Congrat you twice!
Comment By: FreeTracy Fletcher on May 16, 2007 11:13:53 AM Report

Congratulations on winning a Featured Poem Award, I love this write. It so deserves the award.
Tracy


Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on May 14, 2007 09:18:43 PM Report
I'm totally speechless Jolen. Where does that head of yours come up with this stuff...Dawn tip-toeing not to disturb the night. Brilliant..Brilliant..Brilliant..what more can I say. Well deserved award.

Helen

Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on May 14, 2007 04:46:44 PM Report
Just the right touch on this.  Well deserved award!
Comment By: FreeAdri on May 14, 2007 05:18:30 AM Report
I remember when this was posted the first time, with the typical Linny title.  Congrats on the win!! 
Adri x

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on May 13, 2007 08:27:00 PM Report

Miss Sorceress:  super congrats on this Feature Poem Award.


Lady D


 


Comment By: FreeSamuel E. Stone on January 19, 2007 01:29:14 PM Report
A pleasure to read, beautifully written...

Sam

Comment By: FreePelagic Mind on January 13, 2007 06:08:40 PM Report
A quiet and thoughtful rendering of the dawn….  Lovely
Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on January 9, 2007 02:00:19 PM Report
This is so beautiful Jody, it shows how cyclic everything in our lives is. Each day is another go round, but is unlike the day before.   Henry
Comment By: FreeChuck on January 8, 2007 04:03:58 PM Report

This is very good…from silence in the begining to the silence in the end… reminds me of the morning kills so many things…the dreams looming in tired eyes of those of yet to awake… and the lives of those of us who rise into the vague monotony of a new day…we end where we begin to begin where we’ve ended… a beautiful tragedy... and well written too.  


Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on January 8, 2007 04:02:52 AM Report
This is a Joliad is it not? And beautifully executed too. Also, perhaps, the thoughts of Eos before embarking upon her long love affair with Tithonus, poor man; but Goddesses are Godesses and do what they will do - we mere mortals must simply follow in their footstepsand accept our fate!-)

 

Warm Wishes

 

David

Comment By: FreeSavanahB on January 4, 2007 10:31:54 PM Report
Morning came in stompin'

as though to kick my butt

How the hell did it get in?

I left the drapes all shut......

 

Nahh, I think I'll leave the metaphors to you, Evil, mine just isn't coming out as good as yours! This one's a winner, J, it almost starts out drowsy then starts waking up more with each verse...cool!

 

The Mad Commenter

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on January 4, 2007 09:14:06 PM Report
Jolen,
Omg... How did I miss this masterpiece? *****
Only you can write like this.. a portait of colors to express ..
Dawning  captures many moments  .. It speaks volumes... Hugs ~ She Whispers

Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on January 4, 2007 08:57:28 PM Report
I loved this enchanating thing the ffirst time, and came back to snag it as a favorite.  The last verse seems more meaningful to me now.  Nice work, girl.  ML
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on January 4, 2007 05:23:21 PM Report
Just an incredible write Sorceress, beautiful and tender, Joe
Comment By: FreeLast Temple Knight on January 4, 2007 03:05:41 PM Report
A beautiful, enchanting, and wonderful morning to wake up to...

*Slaps 'snooze' button on clock and retreats unders covers*  :o)

Comment By: FreeAngel on January 4, 2007 11:03:12 AM Report
Beautiful as always J

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeWide Awake on January 4, 2007 10:04:54 AM Report
PS :o) ....I think you should try to find a competition for this one dear...or a magazine, or book...something~ ...

ACES! :o) hehe~

Comment By: FreeWide Awake on January 4, 2007 10:02:50 AM Report
........sigh.........

You write so beauifully my friend...:o)

This is truly a wonder of exquisitely woven metaphor~
I've never seen such mastery with metaphor...

This is a masterpiece Jolen!

Definitely a favorite of mine...the dawn tiptoes in as to not disturb the night :o)
Excellent mataphor tailoring~

Hugs,
Pamela

Comment By: FreeCeeCee on January 4, 2007 09:14:20 AM Report
Beautifully written, Jolen!

 

Cari

 

Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on January 4, 2007 08:36:33 AM Report
Morning came a waltzing.....wonderful line that jumps out at ya. And a belated Happy, happy birthday. Hope it was special for you. jp
Comment By: PremiumMelanie on January 4, 2007 07:48:15 AM Report
This is absolutely beautiful.
You truly captured the moment in a mystical way.

Comment By: FreeCrystal on January 3, 2007 11:44:51 PM Report
beautiful
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on August 8, 2006 04:01:28 AM Report
Lovely soft and gentle imagery capturing this mystical time of day so well..sis xx
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on August 7, 2006 01:05:06 AM Report
A lovely piece of work, J.  Well done.  ML
Comment By: FreeRandy Harrison on August 1, 2006 06:15:16 AM Report
How very clever. Minnesota Lavender is rather flighty and likes to waltz with the morning when it is wearing shoes that are too tight. Ah, and yes that magical moment of "clarity" when everything is understood and words are unneeded. Great one Jolen...

Much love,

Randy.

Comment By: FreeAngel on July 29, 2006 04:30:05 PM Report
Fabulous J enjoyed very much

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on July 28, 2006 06:52:55 AM Report
Very pretty words that depict the serenity and promise that dawn brings to a brand new day! Beautifully written Jody.            Henry
Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on July 28, 2006 01:37:32 AM Report
By George! I think we have a poet! Great poem jolen! As always a joy to read your stuff.
Comment By: FreeS on July 27, 2006 04:18:32 PM Report
great poem as always, love your style

-recalcitrant

Comment By: FreeCraig David Dawson on July 27, 2006 10:23:05 AM Report
so beautiful..you are still a great writer.
Comment By: FreeCeeCee on July 27, 2006 09:33:54 AM Report
Great use of personification, Jody.  LOVED this!

 

CeeCee

Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on July 27, 2006 04:58:47 AM Report

I love the first two and last two lines. Also, "morning came waltzing in wearing / shoes that seem to tight". I don't know where you got that from, but it's inspired. It is very much John Prine territory. The last two are where it shines though. You capture the whole point of dawn - a time for thinking about the day before, while preparing for the one to come. Most people just think "Oh yeah, dawn's a pretty time of day", which misses the point of it's serenity. The more I read it, there are no redundant lines; they all say something that adds to the piece. You did good, sweetness :)


Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on July 26, 2006 10:59:25 PM Report
In the uncertain hour before the morning
     Near the ending of interminable night
     At the recurrent end of the unending
After the dark dove with the flickering tongue
     Had passed below the horizon of his homing
     While the dead leaves still rattled on like tin
Over the asphalt where no other sound was
     Between three districts whence the smoke arose
     I met one walking, loitering and hurried
As if blown towards me like the metal leaves
     Before the urban dawn wind unresisting.
     And as I fixed upon the down-turned face
That pointed scrutiny with which we challenge
     The first-met stranger in the waning dusk
     I caught the sudden look of some dead master.

                                    Little Gidding

Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on July 26, 2006 10:37:32 PM Report
A sophisticated sunrise. Beautiful Jolen. Your metaphors bring out my jealous side. jp
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on July 26, 2006 09:27:49 PM Report

Hee hee...Hey, Dawn tip-toed in quietly as if not to disturb the night is GOLD, baby!!..I LOVE that line!!..Should be,,"Lavender spreads"..I also love that second stanza, you poet, you..


Morning waltzing in wearing tight shoes...That's a HOOT, darlin'...Nobody does it like you, Aces...NOBODY!!...yereverwaltzininfurball


Comment By: Freeb doneff on July 26, 2006 09:20:10 PM Report
Ohhhhh poo...here I was thinking, "I can bring the dawn in with a few words." But YOU did it, and now I am horrendously jealous again, sigh,...it was lovely, all serene and nice...just how I like my mornings...my evenings?? oh that's a different story allllllll together, lmao...Good job here wench...BB
Comment By: TrialAnn on July 26, 2006 04:17:52 PM Report
Great flow and images!


Comment By: FreeLast Temple Knight on July 26, 2006 04:10:36 PM Report
Great work, I feel ready for a new day!

LTK




Comment By: Freetom on July 26, 2006 04:04:54 PM Report
what a beautiful penning and visions of dawn and the perfect sunrise and so elegantly penned Jody

hugs kisses

tom

Comment By: FreeDwaine Cunningham on July 26, 2006 03:56:51 PM Report
Very nicely done Jolen
Comment By: FreeAdri on July 26, 2006 03:47:13 PM Report
This is very beautiful.  I love this poem, it is really amazingly written.  Wonderful job.  Great poem, very original work.
Adri x

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on July 26, 2006 03:46:24 PM Report

This is very soft and easy to enjoy.  Loved the colour references and it goes perfectly with my French Vanilla coffee.........


Lady D


 


Comment By: FreeGlata on July 26, 2006 03:46:01 PM Report
This is beautiful! Your words brought this image to life...Fantabulous work, J...

Love ya!

g

Comment By: FreeLinear Z on July 26, 2006 03:43:00 PM Report
I love this poem.. It is exactly what I would hope to find in a straight poem; it is beautiful and creates a wonderful image.
Great stuff as usual. and thanks for the shout-out :-)






 


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