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Author Name: Freeseeker 10 Comments
Date Added: August 03, 2006 20:08:53 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Prose Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Finding My Way Back To A Different Beginning
The problem with life is, they introduced us to fairy tales.
I still believe in happy endings.
Is that what's killing me?
I can see the news report now:
A hopeless romantic dies today of............
Hopelessness?
And join us at eleven for an in depth look at how to be hopeless without losing hope.
With our special guest Dr. Phil.

Hurry and laugh at yourself before someone else does.
More pitiful then some, less pitiful then others.
There has to be balance I suppose.
Why do we have to be pitiful at all?
Pitiful or full of pity?
Don't pity me.

And the spiral goes downwards.
Falling
Falling
Towards the ground.

The ever dreaded D's
Despair, desperation,
deprevity, doubt,
darkness, death,
damnation.
Dreams?

The ever elusive H's.
Healing, hope, happiness.
Hilarity, hysteria, hallucinations?

I once read a book/saw a movie that ended badly.
Who needs reality in their entertainment?
And while we are at it, let's ban the news, I'd rather be deluded.

"The ants marched on", "Old MacDonald E, I, O'ed" and I grew up.
Stuck in a rut way above my head,
and I've no imagination left to figure my way out.
Why did I grow up at all?

Musical lyrics hold all the answers to life.
Kansas said it best, and I agree:
"All we are IS dust in the wind,
and all your money won't another minute buy."
Sometimes I sit and listen to that song for far to long.
But it keeps me centered, focused, and grounded.

All my life has already been lived out in someone else's story book.
But I pretend that on occasion I have an original thought.
Do I keep it to myself, or cast it out into the world?
I don't want it to be proven unoriginal.

Boredom threatens to plague me.
Mundane, ordinary, stagnant, uninteresting, lackluster, mediocre, plain.
As I write these words down, they are being erased from my vocabulary.

The joke of the day.
I have complete control of my destiny.
Nothing is predetermined.
There is no such thing as fate.
I will change my ways.
I will become what I know I have the potential to be.

We are all preprogramed.
Barfing out other peoples ideals.
Vomiting our way through life.
Up chucking other peoples agendas on the masses.
Original thought is a mass delusion.

Foot soldiers marching out their propaganda.
Don't try to sell me the idea that there is such a thing as the "perfect life".
Job had the "perfect life" and it was ripped away from him.
Of coarse he got it back multiplied by 7.... or 10 times. I don't remember,
but now the rest of us have to live with the knowledge that
this could happen to us.

Is this a test?

There's going to be a quiz isn't there?

Are you sleeping Sister Mary?
Wake up it's time for my daily beating.

Amongst the rambling of thoughts, Epiphany strikes!
Learn to pray for what God wants, and your prayers will always be answered.

Stare at yourself in the mirror for long enough and you won't recognize the reflection.
Have I turned into something I can learn to like yet?

If you walk backwards, you can see where you've been,
but it will take you twice as long to get where your going.
So look to the future don't dwell in the past.

Act now and we'll throw in a life time supply of (insert what you need here)
Life will never be handed to me,
and I haven't learned how to reach out and grab it.........
yet.

Maybe it's just me but, what do you do with life once you've caught it?
Throw it back and catch it again?

When everything I ever wanted is handed to me.............
Will I truely be happy?

Hmmmm. I still believe in happy endings.
Is that what's killing me, or
is that what's keeping me alive?
Author's Notes:
Report Offensive Poem.

'Finding My Way Back To A Different Beginning' Copyright © Angelique
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
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Comments:
Comment By: Freenoah count on April 20, 2008 12:38:32 PM Report
This piece gives much to ponder. However, this old altar boy sat up straight for the Sister Mary couplet, gave me a chance to get my bearings.  Very deserving. 
Comment By: FreeAntony Frank on February 17, 2007 10:44:58 AM Report
Excellent.  Well deserved award.

 

Antony.

Comment By: FreeAntony Frank on February 17, 2007 10:44:13 AM Report
Excellent.  Well deserved award.

 

Antony.

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on September 17, 2006 08:22:28 PM Report
"We are all preprogramed.
Barfing out other peoples ideals.
Vomiting our way through life.
Up chucking other peoples agendas on the masses.
Original thought is a mass delusion."

I once did a poem on this very subject. An original concept would only be possible to a rare genius. We can't beat ourselves up too much for being regular humans..This, in my opinion, is the best thinking in any of this week's winners..Great job!!..len

Comment By: FreeSuzin on September 17, 2006 12:04:51 AM Report
This poem is beautiful! I'm totally speechless


Comment By: FreeTracy Fletcher on September 12, 2006 09:53:26 PM Report
Congraulations Angelique on winning a well deserved Featured Poem Award.
Tracy

Comment By: ModeratorJillian K. Alexis on September 12, 2006 08:55:15 PM Report
Congratulations Angelique for winning a featured poem of the week award...Hugz...Jillian
Comment By: FreeJeff on September 11, 2006 03:37:12 PM Report
Congrats...

Excellent write~

 

Jeff

Comment By: FreeCynthia Jones on September 11, 2006 11:55:09 AM Report

Congrats on your muchly deserved award. *S* Whispering Winds


Comment By: PremiumRobertM on August 4, 2006 12:34:00 AM Report

I'm blown away here. This is an amazing write Angel. There are ways I hear depression in this, but throughout you question the outcome of the thought process. And wherever there is question there is hope. And I think ultimately, we are both killed and nurtured by the nature of happy endings. I'm going to have to chew on this one for awhile. But I think the flavor I get is more about happy beginnings.






 


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