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Author Name: FreeDrJojo 12 Comments
Date Added: September 05, 2006 19:09:06 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Rants/Venting Add To Favorites | Text Only
Joe's Rules of Reading

So much for a secure site

So much for posting my work

In the safety of anonymity.



Is nothing sacred?


I know, I can tell.

I found finger prints

On one of my recent stories.

And on a poem that I am

Particularly fond of…..

A smudge of egg salad.


You have no idea

How disconcerting that is.

I worry about people

Sitting at their computers

Sipping hot coffee

Or Coca Cola.


What if they should read

One of my hilarious pieces

And burst out in

Helpless laughter

Spraying my pages

With dark liquids.


I am in distress.

My mind conjures

Pictures of some woman

Eating a Hershey bar

As she erupts into tears

While reading my love poems.


I am vexed with

The thought that

Her Hershey will

Spew forth onto my words.

There must be rules……

Reading rules of order.


First, if one must

Read my work,

No drinks or food

At the computer.

No wine coolers,

And especially no PBJs.

And would you believe

That some intruders

Have the audacity

To smoke at the PC

Coating my creations

With yellow/brown tars.


If what I have applied to the page

Is THAT irresistible,

If one MUST peruse my library,

Swallow those M&Ms ……..

Drain that coffee cup and the bladder.

And then and only then, open my pages.


Thank you.


Author's Notes:
Just letting off steam.
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Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on October 1, 2006 10:01:30 AM Report
a bit perplexed as to if its a rant or funny...


everyone has already cracked the jokes so all I can say it it wisna me...

Ali x

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on September 15, 2006 10:04:08 PM Report
Joe*~.....Ummmmm., I guess that apologies are due....I am the one that left the blueberry stains on your 3rd page, as I was trying to learn to write like you, and was snoopin'...and....well, you saw the stain, huh?.....(smile).....
I happen to agree.....Don't want pbj on my parchment~~!!!!!

Loved this....


Comment By: PremiumMelanie on September 11, 2006 08:44:41 AM Report

It wasn't me. Love egg salad, but always dieting. So edibles never reach this far.

Your light hearted style never fails to make me smile.

Can't relate, but still enjoyed it.


Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on September 9, 2006 05:51:22 PM Report
I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille....:O)..Here's blowin' cigar smoke at you, kid..:O)...Yer pal. len
Comment By: FreeGlata on September 6, 2006 07:17:00 AM Report
LOL I swallowed my M&Ms whole, and then guzzled my cola...THEN I ran to the toilet to make sure the bladder was totally empty... then doused the cigarette...I promise. So now I can read without smudging your pages ;o)

A rather odd rant, my friend, but a good one, none the less...



Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 6, 2006 12:03:50 AM Report
Well Joe,
, What can I say ..... I always drink my wine ..but only after 5 and I never spill a drop.......its to expensive Sweet heart  I love that lusty wine... You know how I am after a couple of glasses???
 I love your poetry and I would never stain your heart!! Hugs ~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeCeeCee on September 5, 2006 08:40:39 PM Report
So when did you hide the video camera in all our computer monitors?  You could have at least handed me a tissue when you saw me eating the Hershey bars and crying! :-)



Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on September 5, 2006 08:40:24 PM Report

Wait!  I got it!  Peanut butter jelly!  Right?

Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on September 5, 2006 08:38:04 PM Report
Okay.  Okay.  I'm sorry.  I'll be more careful.  Joe, what are PBJs?
Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on September 5, 2006 07:59:26 PM Report

I'm relieved background music is still ok.  It keeps me focused when reading and working.  Creative muse here Joe. 

Comment By: FreeAngelique on September 5, 2006 07:53:57 PM Report
Man caught red handed! I had a bottled water AND strawberry cheese cake ice cream. But I was being VERY careful I promise. Thanks for letting it out this stuff shouldn't remain bottled inside.  By the way, cutest rant I've ever seen.
Comment By: FreeWide Awake on September 5, 2006 07:47:20 PM Report


You ARE joking aren't you Joe?... :o)

This is very cute, as far as rants go my friend~

(I will confess...I was drinking a coffee AND smoking a cigarette...WHILST reading your poem Joe) ...

Thanks for the reading etiquette reminder Joe :o)

Best wishes,


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