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Author Name: Freeseeker 13 Comments
Date Added: October 04, 2006 20:10:13 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Spiritual Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Seeking Heaven
I try to picture it, I try to see
But heaven seems so far from me.
Shards of hell are all around,
In this place that I am bound.

Demons cackle in my ringing ears.
Just reinforcing all my fears.
That nothing good will ever come.
It makes me hollow, makes me numb

They taint my vision, blind true sight,
So all my world is dark as night.
The bitter taste of hatredís touch,
Has me in itís wicked clutch.

Flesh and bone and suffering too.
All is pain with in my view.
Sorrow and heartbreak here in me,
As waking nightmares are what I see.

Inhale a journey, exhale the pain
As I search for that next plane.
What ever peace I find within ,
Helps me to live here in my skin.

A calming mind does see clear,
Through the hate and through the fear.
Through the dark and evil night,
A blessed beautiful glorious light.

If my steps turn down that way,
And go past the black and gray.
Finding myself in purest white,
Will heaven then be in my sight?

A feeling of warmth and eternal peace,
Where chaos would perpetually cease.
A love that could not be explained,
Like none that had ever been obtained.

Only then can I look and see,
This view that had eluded me.
What once was lost this seeker finds,
That heaven can be a state of mind.
Author's Notes:
I was challenged to write about what I think heaven would be like. Every time I went to write this challenge out, it would turn a bit dark on me, so I went with it. I believe in an actual heaven, but I also think that our state of mind can make us feel closer, or more withdrawn from it.
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Comments:
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on November 3, 2006 07:42:53 PM Report
Terrific write, the last verse closes this perfectly. Congrats on the award, it is very deserved here, Joe
Comment By: FreeDavid on October 27, 2006 04:21:58 PM Report
Heaven and hell, as real as any earthly place, but you expressed it well...Sort-of like my theory of both on earth...
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on October 18, 2006 06:26:03 PM Report
Heaven and Hell..We concieve of them and make them so..Great rhyming, Seeker..len
Comment By: FreeWith pain comes strength on October 18, 2006 05:47:47 PM Report
What a beautiful write, loved the rhyme and rhythem too.

Congrats on the award, well worthy in my humble opinion lol

Nik

Comment By: ModeratorJillian K. Alexis on October 18, 2006 09:32:52 AM Report
Congratulations Angelique for winning a featured poem of the week award...Hugz...Jillian
Comment By: PremiumRobertM on October 17, 2006 02:05:00 PM Report
Congratulatons Angel. I knew this one was a winner when I first saw it. You deserve this recognition and I'm glad you have received it. R.
Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on October 15, 2006 08:09:36 PM Report
Congrats on the award, Angel!  Seeking Heaven's in your blood!
Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on October 15, 2006 08:09:36 PM Report
Congrats on the award, Angel!  Seeking Heaven's in your blood!
Comment By: FreeMujtaba H Zaidi on October 8, 2006 12:08:48 AM Report
Your imagination is wonderful, and your insight is deep...It is a remarkable piece of writing which describes your highest aims and lofty thinking and thought-provoking vision. Well done dear lady, carry on.
Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on October 7, 2006 10:51:28 PM Report
OOps! well, yeah, I really liked this one too.  You got strong language running the whole way through.  Made it feel all serious and cryptic and... well, it suffices to say that I felt right at home! (Demons cackling) Alot of times, when you find a poem with perfect rhyme and meter, it's a humorous poem, or just a happy-go-lucky kind of airy, happy poem.  This one "had some meat on it," and still flowed nicely with rhyme and meter.  You're quite a pro, Angelique. Always have been.
Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on October 7, 2006 10:46:12 PM Report

Comment By: PremiumRobertM on October 4, 2006 11:19:19 PM Report
I deeply relate to your comment about this poem. You've written it very nicely and the last stanza pulls it together extremely well. The mechanics of rhyming and meter are also well done and I suggest you submit this for a featured award.  RM.
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on October 4, 2006 11:17:36 PM Report
Well dear lady I think you have written a great poem here.. This is out standing to read.*****
Later ~ She Whispers





 


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