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Author Name: FreeBarbara D. 24 Comments
Date Added: October 15, 2006 17:10:01 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Dedications Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Autumn's Hair

Heavenís breath is on a mission

Strong and wild, without a care

With gale force; exhaled insistence

Through the strands of Autumnís hair

 

Poised and motionless, the lady 

Would primp and dazzle in the sun

Her coiffure; colors resplendent

Now temperamentally undone

 

The refined chromatic beauty

Models rich hues day to day

Quaint and fresh, still full of vigor

Yet ill fated, some would say

 

Blustery winds pay a bold visit

Currents gush from lungs and lips

To tug with robust persistence

Like a million fingertips

 

Lucent strands of golden splendor

Flex and shimmer, taunt and tease

The maiden trembles with resistance

When the night air comes to freeze

 

Valor wanes, her mussy foliage

Limp from icy tongues of doom

They lash out, whips without mercy

Her demise will follow soon

 

Her tousled locks are dull and thinning

They languish with each fatal breeze

Autumnís tresses fade and plummet

Heavenís breath puffs victory

Author's Notes:
~I dedicate this poem to you Cari, I know it is one of mine that you have always loved. I hope you like the revisions I've made. (I've attempted improve it.) I have managed to get it posted before the snow came to stay. *the turtle winks*~
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on January 31, 2010 12:32:36 AM Report
another strong metaphor that is inescapable to me is that autumn represents women in their prime...then fading and falling...to "languish with each fatal breeze"....wide appeal in these words...full of symbolic meaning and springs from a beautiful mind
Comment By: FreeAlfred on November 2, 2009 01:27:55 PM Report
Personifying the seasons is outstanding. And the different colors emphasizing this personification is very creative.
Comment By: Freejoey on October 3, 2009 09:24:20 PM Report
Just so well written. The picture painted with your words is beautiful.

Comment By: FreePeter Sammylin on September 1, 2009 07:46:00 PM Report
Hello Barbara,

I experienced a great joy by reading this work dedicated to the season which we will soon get in to!  It is composed in such a fine manner that those who come to read it simply can not stay un touched!  I loved it greatly...

Greetings: Peter

Comment By: PremiumRaymond Pinsonneault on August 30, 2008 07:54:46 PM Report
"Autumn's  hair" "like  a million fingertips" etc... how exquisitly sensual.Dignified metaphors, well balanced, rhythmic, meaningfull. superbly well-arranged variety of words, emotions. Loved it. A favorite.

Comment By: FreeAmy on April 15, 2008 04:18:20 AM Report
The title drew me in...as Autumn is my favorite time of year. I like that you used the fall colors in your text but most of all I like the poem itself.  This piece flows well and has great use of metaphors. Very well written and definitely worthy of its prize...Amy

Comment By: FreeSteve on April 9, 2008 10:44:32 PM Report
Wonderful poem.....I really like the visual effect.....in total it is an award winner.
Comment By: FreeGlata on November 7, 2006 12:04:23 PM Report
I knew it the minute I read it! An instant winner...Awesome and congrats!!!

Hugs and love you!

glata

Comment By: FreeMichelle on November 1, 2006 07:36:05 PM Report
wow! that is just amazing!
Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on October 31, 2006 09:44:41 PM Report
Congrats1
Comment By: FreeMoon Fairy on October 31, 2006 06:47:44 AM Report
Barbara~
Ohhhh my, I do love the flow and charm of this write.
One of my favorite seasons!!...just wonderful, its a gem.
Congratulations!..another favorite, thank you! Great dedication for
Cari~
~Tracie

Comment By: FreeHeike on October 30, 2006 12:04:12 PM Report

This marvellous poem can really be enjoyed with all senses... the colours, the sound... and I think I can even smell the autumn :-).
Congrats on your award, Barbara!
~Heike


Comment By: FreeAdri on October 30, 2006 02:34:00 AM Report
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!  I am so happy this one won!  I is creative, lovely and just beautifully written!!  What an honour to share the week with you!! 
Adri x

Comment By: TrialAnn on October 29, 2006 10:13:38 PM Report
Congrats to you sister! Beautiful job on this....


Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on October 29, 2006 09:14:14 PM Report
this is absolutely lovely! And the colors of the stanzas add so much! congratulations :)

 

~Shanna

Comment By: FreeSharon Jorcil James on October 21, 2006 12:08:19 PM Report
Love your stunning comparison drawn here between a woman and the seasons.

A truly fantastic write Barbara.....and the text colour is so pertinent!

 

Sharon JJ

Comment By: FreeAdri on October 19, 2006 03:04:56 PM Report
Beautiful poem Barbara!!!  I love this write a lot!!!  But you always do that.  This is a great poem!!
Adri x

Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on October 19, 2006 02:56:46 PM Report

I liked the coloured text - very appropriate.


Here is a view of Autumn in France for you to contrast with:-

 







Sunflower Fields

 From a recent holiday walking in South West France.

Summer withered fields of Languedoc
Stretch brown and wide
To the far, snow capped Pyrenees.
Burnt umbria, red umbria, dark umbria
Colour the landscape
With a tanned rainbow of rich earth.
Fields of unharvested maize
Add tints of ochre to the sombre palette.
Only the sad sunflowers seem to lament summers passing.
They stand in long lines,
Heads sadly bowed
To the south west
Where the last warm light faded.
Now dry and desiccated,
A fixed melancholy
Hangs over them as they await beheading
And the gathering in of seeds.


Warm Wishes

 

David

Comment By: FreeBruce A. Peaslee on October 19, 2006 02:51:58 PM Report
Barbara-  As I read this it occurs to me that in way life mimics nature, In Spring the beauty is natural (as in young human life), in summer life's work takes precedence over the signs of aging, In autumns the colors seems to parallel our quest to regain our lost youth then winter sets in.  Interesting poem.

 

---Poetrydad---

 

Comment By: FreeGlata on October 19, 2006 08:30:30 AM Report
Beautifully done! But then, I always expect this when I come to your page, Barbara. Your use of words never fails to amaze and astound me. What a view of fall....and the coming winter.

Loved this!

Cari will be proud!

love ya gal!

Glata

Comment By: FreeCeeCee on October 16, 2006 11:36:36 PM Report
Barbara....what joy this poem brings to my heart!  The revisions make it seem even more vibrant and alive.  This is a classic poem to be read again and again.

 

Thank you so much for your kindness in posting it once more and in its dedication.  I am truly honored.  You are a wonderful friend on this site whom I appreciate, respect,  and adore!  :-)

 

Best Regards,

Cari

 

Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on October 16, 2006 04:29:57 AM Report
Creative and colorful write Barbara. I love the use of your words here, Joe
Comment By: FreeTana McCarthy on October 16, 2006 12:25:03 AM Report
I enjoyed this very much, it dances off the page.  As you are open to critique can I ask why it is maiden rather than lady, as the implication of youth doesn't sit well with the autumnal reference

if it is intended also to be metaphor for aging?  Or is there a suggestion that this is the beginning of the end?  Anyway i think this is very fine work.

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on October 15, 2006 06:10:03 PM Report
Barbara, this is just beyond words to express.. this is so colored with words.. the lady Cari..will love it..hugs ~ She Whispers




 


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