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Author Name: Freeavanheerden 36 Comments
Date Added: October 25, 2006 05:10:45 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Take this Girl

Just take this girl,
and make her yours.
Her love is deep, but still
her fears are weak
A lot of faults reside
within her soul,
It is part of her, encased
within her mould.
A better person you let her be
with your heart, she can see…

You are all she needs love to be
And she is asking you...
"Please forgive me"

Author's Notes:
Ek is jammer
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'Take this Girl' Copyright © Adri
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Comment By: PremiumHOPE on March 21, 2010 12:18:22 AM Report
What a great poem, forgiveness blessed to give it blessed to receive it.

Comment By: FreeAndrew on January 29, 2010 09:29:54 AM Report
clearly an award winner - i continue to be impressed with the range of your talents and the depth of feelings you express in this and all your others works I have read.  In a few short words, you make a most convincing case for "this girl" and her feelings for her man.  brilliant!
Comment By: Freejoey on October 5, 2009 04:15:46 PM Report
Excellent poem right to the point no fancy wording just simple
Congrats on the award

Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on June 10, 2009 03:54:32 PM Report
Yup.  Very brief, but very cute.  Congrats on the award.
Comment By: PremiumBruce A. Peaslee on October 14, 2008 08:28:58 AM Report
Adri -  This is a  beautiful work,  a honest completeness when two hearts join.





Comment By: FreeKati on July 24, 2008 05:23:03 PM Report
I loved this! It's simply beautiful! I'm marking this as a favorite.
Comment By: on June 7, 2008 03:43:39 PM Report
> i picked another good one at random, & an award winner... i can see why, your writing is  

> wonderful, & so true adri        

>   john scott hadley

Comment By: FreeSteve on May 7, 2008 09:42:51 AM Report
A wonderful,  sweet love is to have a forgiving  heart.
Comment By: Freeabby on October 15, 2007 08:19:25 AM Report

Stunning piece and deserving of the praise and award. It professes affection and forgiveness. Beautiful poem doubtless.


Comment By: FreeMelody on September 29, 2007 02:35:41 PM Report
great write Melody
Comment By: FreeRin Marie on July 22, 2007 03:32:34 PM Report
This is beautiful.  Well deserved award if I do say so myself.


Love, Rin

Comment By: FreeN.M.Sodergran on December 1, 2006 09:16:17 AM Report
Beautiful poem, in essence but most certainly in form also.  You seem to be developing ;)  Bold to refer to yourself in third person, yet it adds to the essence!  Excellent!  Congrats on the award!  Cheers!  Aeth

Comment By: FreeMorgan on November 29, 2006 08:56:30 PM Report

Comment By: FreeGlata on November 28, 2006 07:31:01 AM Report
See?????? Told ya it was a winner! Absolutely beautiful and VERY deserving of this award...and I can see that the plea was heard and accepted with a loving heart!

Hugs and love ya, girl...


Comment By: FreeChristin Mowery on November 27, 2006 08:22:54 PM Report

Wonderful job! Congrats. So full of emotion.


Comment By: FreeHeike on November 27, 2006 03:33:32 PM Report
He can't deny you anything, can he ;-)?
Congratulations on your award, Adri!

Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on November 27, 2006 05:06:22 AM Report
I like John's comment, but I love this Adri, congrats hun, Joe
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on November 26, 2006 09:09:24 PM Report
Congratulations girlfriend! =))



Comment By: FreeCynthia Jones on November 26, 2006 08:14:27 PM Report
Congrats on your muchly deserved award. *S* Whispering Winds
Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on November 26, 2006 06:24:44 PM Report
Congratulations, Adri. This was a winner all the way.
Comment By: FreeRandy Harrison on November 16, 2006 03:51:12 AM Report

Your prowess as a poet is evident in ths subtle use of the poetic tools. You do love so well. Love it!
Randy x

Comment By: FreeMujtaba H Zaidi on November 15, 2006 09:33:14 AM Report
This is a piece one desires to read many times.....well done respected maiden!
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on November 6, 2006 06:48:10 AM Report
well if that don't melt him..nothing will! lol
lovely writing as always  Ali x

Comment By: FreeFLETCHER on November 2, 2006 05:08:19 AM Report
Your awsome talent shines thru  with this one!


Comment By: FreeCraig David Dawson on November 1, 2006 07:10:53 AM Report
I am so you babe.
Comment By: FreeWide Awake on November 1, 2006 06:51:54 AM Report
Alot of character in this Adri~

Heartfelt and charmingly written.
...In the perfect form for its expression.

A pleasure to read.


Comment By: FreeAngelique on October 29, 2006 04:06:46 PM Report
Beautifully written. That is all any one can ask really, to be loved despite their faults. Good thing we all have them or some of us would definitely be in trouble lol. Very sweet in it's vulnerability.
Comment By: Freeryan on October 28, 2006 08:45:53 AM Report
great write
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on October 27, 2006 03:26:17 PM Report
Oh gosh, this one makes me uneasy. I feel the sincerity within these lines and don't mince words here...this is a raw piece, your heart is exposed, right here on the page. What a lovely message, as humble as any person needing forgiveness should be.


This is touching hun. Sad...and beautiful, at the same time. *hugz to you*



Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on October 26, 2006 04:24:41 PM Report
I think the beauty of your soul is on display in this lovely poem, Adri..How could you really love someone who was not flawed?..Perfection would be SO irritating in a human..Love ya, kid...len
Comment By: FreeDevilish Minx on October 26, 2006 04:16:45 PM Report
Wow Adri, I just saw that you had written some new stuff, and no matter what had happened they'd be crazy not to say that you're forgiven, beautiful.

Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on October 26, 2006 06:50:54 AM Report
I love those soft interior rhyming of this one, Adri. Girl/still, deep/weak, soul/mould; and you even threw in a touch of assonance at the end there with she/be/she/please/me. You know, I think you might be a poet young lady :)
Comment By: FreeLinear Z on October 26, 2006 03:23:58 AM Report
Beautiful, and interesting. Like all good poems should be :-)

Be well, Linear.

Comment By: FreeGlata on October 25, 2006 08:14:36 AM Report
Dear Ah....

Henry's very right....When we love someone, we love them for better or worse. Sometimes we have faults that drive the one we love crazy, but then, they have faults that do the same to us. So...we love them, warts, wrinkles and all.

I hope that this touches his heart, hon, in a way that nothing else ever can....and that he calms your worries with just those three little words.

Love you sis!


Comment By: FreeHenry M. on October 25, 2006 06:39:00 AM Report
That's the funny thing about us humans Adri, we are not perfect and part of loving is to see past the imperfections of someone and still love them anyway. Great work with this one Adri, and don't worry, if he loves you, he will forgive you.      Henry
Comment By: FreeCraig David Dawson on October 25, 2006 05:52:31 AM Report
A nice longing poem...very haunting but sweet.


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