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Author Name: PremiumCorin 6 Comments
Date Added: November 14, 2006 07:11:51 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Text Only
I Once Forked a Poet
O I too once  forked a poet
Between her forked legs,
What a bad mistake I made then
For poets lay big eggs!
There was rythym in her forking
She spoke orgasmic rhyme
Her stanzas then were small and sweet
But they grew in nine months time.
She opened wide her nether lips
Out popped a baby poet
Right from its  birth it could quote
And man do I now know it!
Every bright new morning since
All through each weary day,
In the middle of the night
I hear its epic lay.
My life is one long recitation,
Verses cloud my mind,
Numbers beat upon my ears
There is no peace to find.
Metaphors are marching through
My dreams when I'm  asleep
On three or four or pentatamic
Drumming, running feet.
The half rhymes drive me crazy
Alliteration screams
Loud lazy lying lousy lines
In complex rhyming schemes.
Oh I wish I'd kept my pen inside
Its little zippered case
Take heed from my experience
Just love a pretty face!
Author's Notes:
Inspired by Craig 1972's poem F*** I wish I was a poet!-
Report Offensive Poem.

'I Once Forked a Poet' Copyright © David Turner
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
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Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on May 17, 2009 01:19:50 AM Report
I got a huge charge out of this. *snicker snicker* I loved seeing this side of you David. =))



Comment By: FreeAmy on June 12, 2008 08:19:13 PM Report
I think this is hilarious. I find most humorous poems to be forced. (my own, included) Not this one. I also think it is extremely difficult to write one because everyone has a different sense of humor and there are many types of humor. So, the poem is destined to fall flat with many, if not the majority of its readers. I think this one has mass appeal and was brilliant at its conception.

This one went to my favorites. Loved it.


Comment By: Freeabby on October 5, 2007 07:09:53 AM Report
Ribcracking piece. I wish I could lay eggs, big eggs like poets.


Comment By: FreeS on March 7, 2007 09:24:32 AM Report

that was great

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on November 16, 2006 06:13:52 AM Report
omg omg I canna stop laughing...straight into naughty little bugger you Ali x
Comment By: FreeWide Awake on November 14, 2006 07:54:02 AM Report

The humor in this was brilliantly executed...
lol...very cute! :o)

The pitter patter of pentamic
This is a fun poem, beautifully writ.

Best wishes,


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