Today Is: Saturday, November 28, 2020 08:20 AM. Our Topic of the Week: Pumpkin Spice
Questions?

Check our Help area first!

Comments? Suggestions?

Contact us now!

We like hearing feedback from members on how to improve the site!
 
 
 


 
Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 39 Comments
Date Added: February 11, 2007 22:02:16 Average Score: (Needs 2)
Views This Week
Members: 1
Unique Members: 1
Guests: 305
Total Views
Members: 168
Unique Members: 83
Guests: 1724

Type: Unspecified
Category: Spiritual Add To Favorites Listen To Poem | Text Only
 
Ouroboros

 
Beneath a canopy of stars,
Encircled by the moon,
Brought I my love to our marriage bed
But he departed much too soon.
 
I shed a thousand tears,
They covered the satin spread.
There is nothing quite so lonely
As an abandoned maidenhead.
 
A woman's worth is written,
Bereft of her own hand,
To live or die in each breath
Expelled at the breast of man.
 
And though I be rich of dower,
Poor shall I be hereafter;
For my greatest treasure lied
In my own beloved's laughter.
 
Cold evenings are spent in silence,
Weaving a tapestry of stars.
Deft, my fingers work the loom,
In a pattern without mar.
 
In tribute to a memory,
Something to keep me warm,
'Til death's belated hand returns
To rectify his harm.
Author's Notes:
Ouroboros: snake eating its own tail, symbol of the cycle of life. This was also a symbol of the Greek Goddess Gaia at her temple at Delphi
Report Offensive Poem.

'Ouroboros' Copyright © Sensual Sorceress
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
Click here if you feel this poem is in violation of a copyright.
 
Click here to send this poem to someone!

Comments:
Comment By: FreePaul Peter McLean on April 18, 2008 04:22:13 PM Report
Lovely work, Jolen. It really captured the feeling of the old type of poetry that I like to read. Well done on the award; well deserved.
Comment By: FreeRobin Constantinou on June 26, 2007 07:31:42 AM Report
wow, thats all i can say just wow =)

Comment By: PremiumBlake Hightdudis on February 11, 2007 11:36:46 PM Report
Wow this was an amazing write I realled loved it.
Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on February 3, 2007 03:35:40 AM Report
A woman's worth is written,
Bereft of her own hand,
To live or die in each breath
Expelled at the breast of man.

 

Though I'd surely beg to differ, I really liked the way you worded this. 

Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on January 26, 2007 01:08:13 PM Report
Beautiful Work, Jolen. Congratulations

 

~Shanna

Comment By: FreeRandy Harrison on January 13, 2007 06:51:25 AM Report
Congratulations on the recognition! I like the reference to ancient belief systems...Well done.

Randy

Comment By: FreeCynthia Jones on January 12, 2007 01:19:26 PM Report
Congrats on your muchly deserved award. *S* Whispering Winds
Comment By: FreeGlata on January 12, 2007 12:55:47 PM Report
Have to say that you've once more caught and held my attention from start to finish! An amazing write, and the gold looks good atop it!

Hugs and congrats...

Love ya!

Glata

Comment By: FreeJohn on January 11, 2007 09:43:56 PM Report

Excellent descriptions and an awesome write. Congrats on your award. Well deserved :-)


Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on January 10, 2007 01:39:34 AM Report
Congratulations! You just keep gathering in the gold! =))

 

~Barbara~

Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on January 8, 2007 11:56:57 AM Report
beautiful description of the cycle of life. Fantastic talent Jody...well deserved award

 

Helen

Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on January 8, 2007 04:15:04 AM Report
I commented below Jody, now I have to say congrats on the award. Joe
Comment By: FreeAdri on January 8, 2007 01:46:58 AM Report
Famous and talented!!!  Let me give you a Whooooooo  Hooooooo for this my J!!!! 
Congratulations on this!  I love this one!!!!!! 

Juicy Girl x

Comment By: FreeCeeCee on January 8, 2007 12:13:40 AM Report
Very deserving of this award, Jody...beautiful.

 

Cari

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on January 7, 2007 08:42:10 PM Report

Miss S.S.:  this poem paints quite a layered picture.  Very deserving of the Feature Award.


Lady D


 


Comment By: FreeLady Literary on January 7, 2007 07:39:45 PM Report
This was really beautiful, and I am fairly certain that you've struck a nerve in more than one person. Fantastic write..

Lit

Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on January 7, 2007 06:40:05 PM Report
Congratulations, Emily :) 

Comment By: FreeDarkness Rides This Night on January 3, 2007 02:01:03 AM Report
Yes it was..! You have penned a beautifully sad poem of your past. The Ouroboros is a powerful symbol cause it tells us that life doesn't really end at it's persieved end but that there is hope there for a renewal..! Excellent poem my treasured friend. And happy birthday too you. May your year be full of happy renewals..!
Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on January 3, 2007 12:05:35 AM Report
You're talent is showing again....lol Quite a golden pen you've got!
Comment By: FreeSavanahB on January 2, 2007 08:24:21 PM Report
Brought I my love to our marriage bed
But he departed much too soon???

 

Sista, they make a ring thingy that keeps that from happening. It cuts off the flow so they can't.......

 

It's really a very beautiful piece, Jody, you've certainly be burning the midnight oil while I've been off playing...

 

Damn, I'm fresh out of dowers and you're fithy with them! NO FAIR! I'm telling mama on you! I want some dowers too! 

The mad commenter......Her Royal Bratness 

Comment By: FreeChuck on January 1, 2007 06:26:35 PM Report

this one great... I love how the return of death rectifies the harm... the vagueness of this piece is brilliant..  You leave so much open for interpretation for the reader...feelings expressed in love, pain, death, and life can be cross applied to so many who have experienced the wonderful suffering of living...A cycle of life indeed. 


Comment By: FreeAngel on January 1, 2007 03:54:30 PM Report
A true poetess a magnificent write your talent is endless

 

Happy new year hun

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on December 31, 2006 11:34:40 PM Report
Wow...shat else can I say?

 

Helen

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on December 31, 2006 06:03:22 AM Report
I see another widening of your style which suits you well. I love the symbolism too.

 

Ali x

Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on December 30, 2006 05:16:45 AM Report
Ms S. you never fail to amaze me, this is just excellent and shows off your true talent.
Comment By: Freeleroy taylor fiddler lyon on December 30, 2006 03:44:00 AM Report
thats really good

Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on December 29, 2006 10:52:19 PM Report

Although I risk diminishing my modest yet hard-won reputation as a misogynist, I would make the following confession:

 

I really like this poem very much for the following reasons:

 

1) It's further demonstration of your development as a poet in the sophistication of the language and the skillful use of poetic devices. The last few poems have been very impressive and truly promising in this regard.

 

2) It handles a subject which is not easy to approach and goes  well beyond the customary reach of what one might expect. It hurts to read because our identification is so intense throughout.

 

3) It is curiously available to the male reader as if an uncanny androgyny were at work somewhere in its DNA.

 

That's not him talkin'

No, he's long gone.

Where is he then?

His day job.

What's that?

Raisin' an army at the orphanages.

Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on December 29, 2006 07:34:55 PM Report
WOW! This is incredible Sorceress, Joe
Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on December 29, 2006 05:18:40 AM Report
I bow down to you my precious lady.. You have certainly captured the cycle of life,,Oh so true.

Love Gentle Dove




Comment By: FreeLinear Z on December 28, 2006 04:47:37 PM Report
Beautiful, as usual Sorceress.

The opening section seems a little clunky, but it smooths out very
nicely and it feels like you have captured the style perfectly.


Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on December 28, 2006 05:07:09 AM Report

Dynamic poetry Ms. Sorceress. Gaia and I enjoyed this immensely. jp


Comment By: FreeLast Temple Knight on December 27, 2006 01:20:54 PM Report
Deeply moving... sounds like you've put a piece of your heart into this wonderful piece.
Comment By: FreeHenry M. on December 26, 2006 11:41:38 AM Report
Wow! I think this is excellent writing Jody, I sit here shaking my head in amazement at the heartbreaking beauty of this!   Henry
Comment By: FreeWide Awake on December 26, 2006 09:38:48 AM Report
Breathtaking Ms.Sorcress!...

This has the rich flavor of the classical poem...Very strong poetry~

Ah...love is so oft a tragedy...beautifully breathed in this poem my friend.

Merry Christmas dear :o)

 

Hugs,
Pamela 

Comment By: FreeAdri on December 26, 2006 07:07:24 AM Report
Oh my J, you are truly a world class poet.  You are among the best, really...  This is beautiful!  It is one if those "sweep you up" pieces and take you away...  I love!!!  BRILLIANT.
Adri x

Comment By: PremiumMelanie on December 26, 2006 06:56:02 AM Report
This is written so beautifully.

Your sadness dominates without overkill.

You have produced a vivid bittersweet, yet romantic image.




Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on December 26, 2006 04:12:12 AM Report
Wonderful Jolen - poor Old Gaia is getting a bashing at the moment!

I wondered about this verse:-

 

"And though I be rich of dower,
Poor shall I be ever after;
For my greatest treasure lied
In my own beloved's laughter."

 

Did ou mean `lied' i.e. the treasure spoke untruths?  I want to say 'lay' here - making it mea that your maidenhead has been has ben stolen and your beloved can only laugh at his what he has done.

 

Also I thought :-

 

"Poor shall I be ever after;"

 

woukd read better as :-

 

Poor shall I be hereafter;

 

 

Warm wishes

David

 

Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on December 25, 2006 11:49:59 PM Report
Hey, you there, we like the title.
Your choice of words throughout is, again, spot on, with each stanza having its own highlight. It is an over-used sentiment that a poem has too many peaks to pick but one, however, I think it applies here. In particular, the use of 'dower' as a sly play on words and, in the same stanza, 'lied', with its delightful double-meaning of position and of a sense of disappearance/absence. Then there are the images of an encircling moon and the tapestry of stars; the whole of which is endowed wonderfully with that Emily Dickenson-esque ending, where we see an excellently placed 'belated', signifying a sort of desperation on the part of the protagonist.
You really popped the corn on this one, princess.

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on December 25, 2006 11:42:38 PM Report
FANTASTIC!!!...Oh, BOY...You wrote yourself one classy poem here, darlin'..I don't know who you were channeling,but this is beautiful!!..That's why I am...yereverimpressedfurball




 


Check for Announcements.
on our Home page!

User poems are sometimes graced by images and textures stored on our site
courtesy of GRSites.com, Sandy Hradil, and Sherri Emily.


Welcome, Guest!

Become part of our
friendly community
of on-line writers!

Join today!
 
Username:
 
Password:
 
Forget Username or Password?

Members On Line: 0
Guests On Line: 66
Members in Chat: 1


Happy Birthday


 
We Thank You!

For your donations
and subscriptions!

Creative-Poems.com
P.O. Box 7931
The Woodlands, TX 77387

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
monovalent-defence
Copyright © 2003-2017 Creative-Poems.com.  All Rights Reserved. Use of this site is subject to certain
Terms of Service rules which constitute a legal agreement between you and Creative-Poems.com.
By providing links to other sites, Creative-Poems.com neither approves of, endorses, or gurantees
any information, opinions, or products found on those sites. Users follow links at their own risk.