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Author Name: Freequeens1 4 Comments
Date Added: January 17, 2007 14:01:15 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Short Stories Add To Favorites | Text Only
The Initiation-Short Story Starter

The Initiation

Awoken by a harsh slap, my first instinct is to protect myself. However, it is not possible as my arms and legs are bound to a stout wooden table. Distant chants echo from the darkness around me come in louder as those who chant draw nearer.

Groggy from not enough sleep and stunned by the violence, I whimper because I see that I am only wearing my underwear.

Fear runs through me like ice water in my veins. If only I could move! What are they going to do to me? Oh, Mother, hear my prayer!!

I see flickering lights in the distance. Candles are being carried by figures in dark robes. The chanting is in a foreign language. Where am I?!?!

The leader stands at my feet and I see her face clearly in the candlelight. All of the faces are painted black and white in different patterns. Like masks, they are both frightening and beautiful. I am shivering as much from the cold as from the dreaded faces above me.

Highly personal and secret questions are asked of me by each one of them around the table. I must answer truthfully and without hesitation or all would be lost. After each question, I am rewarded or punished. Reward is an article of clothing and punishment is another slap.

My face is stinging from the slaps and tears, but at last I am warm again for I have answered enough to satisfy their hunger. The soft clothing is like the cocoon of a butterfly.

I realize that the chanting was in Greek.

Carefully, they unbind my arms and legs. They gently massage them to get circulation back. I am given assistance in dressing for my new life. My face is painted in a unique pattern, too. Robes have been discarded and we stand in a circle, hand in hand, united in sisterly love.

I am proud to be counted among one of the most giving and civic minded sororities on campus. My mother was a member and maybe, someday, my daughter will be, too.

January 17, 2007

Patricia A. Harnack

Author's Notes:
Short story starter challenge from LTK.  This is my first stab at a short story.  I hope I did Okay.
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Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on March 13, 2007 05:55:31 PM Report
An ominious beginning to a fun ending. The punctuation is perfect. In my opinion, you are a natural story teller and should explore that area. You held my interest from the first line...len
Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on January 18, 2007 11:17:11 AM Report
You did just fine..I've never written a short story either. good job first timer.



Comment By: FreeLast Temple Knight on January 18, 2007 10:36:56 AM Report
I agree with Glata, you did pretty good for a first time!  You get a gold star from me! :o)
Comment By: FreeGlata on January 17, 2007 02:36:33 PM Report
I think you did just fine! I'm glad, though, that I've never had to go through such an initiation!

Great write!



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