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Author Name: FreeLen 4 Comments
Date Added: April 05, 2007 22:04:47 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Text Only
DeLong Granger vs. The James Gang *2* ~Menosavvy Mind Melt~

DeLong Granger is feeling odd. He and his faithful companion, Pronto, are still a half hour ride from Ford City. They are on the trail of the unscrupulous James Gang. Granger believes his horse, Gelder, is turning to rubber beneath his saddle.

Pronto tries to reassure the masked man. "Horse not turning to rubber, Menosavvy. It just peyote you take from Pronto's medicine bag. Menosavvy make heap big mistake eating so much powerful medicine!"

Granger looks over to his riding partner. "Tha' was terrible beef jerky, Pronto, but I wasss hungry, loyal Native American frien'." Granger's normally piercing pure-blue eyes suddenly open wide in astonishment. "Why'r rainbows comin' offa ya, my faithful frien'?"

Pronto pulls up beside the impaired lawman and takes the reins from the masked man's limp hands. "You in no condition face James Gang, today," the concerned sidekick frowns. "We make camp by that boulder! You walk with spirits all rest of day, me think." Pronto leads the way to the familiar-looking tree-shaded boulder.

The ex-Texas Ranger suddenly doubles over in his saddle. "Ooh!..tha' jerky doesn't 'gree with my stomach," he moans. "I'm feeeeelin' a lil' queaassssy, my good frien'."

Pronto ties the two horses to the familiar-looking tree. He then helps the sweaty masked man to the ground. "Hmm...that pass, Menosavvy," he grunts. "It always that way at first!"

"Oh, no!" shouts an obviously disturbed Granger. He looks frantically from the boulder to the tree, then back again. "Thas' the same boulder we left an hour ago, Pronto! An' thas' the same exac' tree we were under! Tha' boulder an' tree's been followin' us from Texas ta Arizona, an' now, all the way 'cross Kaaannsasss!"

Pronto looks up to the clear western sky for help. "Me know that, Menosavy. It always same. We very low-budget production. Why you worry about that all time?"

The lawman drops to his knees in the dust, looking imploringly up to his companion. "Why do I worry 'bout tha'?!" he shrieks. "Tha' boulder n' tree were in Tombstone! Then they were back there on the trail...Now, here they are again!! Doesn't tha' strike ya as a lil' odd, Injun!?

"Woops!" DeLong Granger begins to giggle. "Menosavvy said a bad thing!" he sings. "A bad thing, A bad thing! Menosavvy said a bad thing, all through the night!"

Granger suddenly looks very serious. "Pronto, ol' faithful Native American brother...please forgive Menosavvy! I jus' don' know what came over me, ol' chum!"

"Not worry about it, paleface...It not problem."

Granger starts giggling again. "Paleface!...paleface!...Woohooo!, my frien'...I sure had tha' comin', din' I?" DeLong starts dancing in little circles, singing what he believes to be Indian chants.

Pronto shakes his head and begins gathering sage. "I get brush and twigs for campfire, Menosavvy," he says to the staggering Granger. "Why you not take walk and talk with spirits? When food ready, I come get you."

The masked man suddenly stops dancing and turns his bloodshot eyes toward his old friend. "A veeerry good idea, ol' buddy," he slurs. "I'll take a lil' walk with heap-big magic desert spirits, but tha' boulder hasta stay here!" DeLong studies the tree, suspiciously. "Same goes for tha' sneaky tree, too!"

"I keep tree and boulder here, Menosavvy," Pronto assures his friend. "Maybe ten hours, your head clear again."

The lawman staggers two steps and turns, almost falling over. "May I have a lil' more a tha' beef jerky for my lil' walk with the spirits?"

Pronto shakes his noble head. "Me no think so."

Author's Notes:
'Boomerang' Billy and the James Gang will have to wait. Our hero has some spirits to shake off..:O)
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'DeLong Granger vs. The James Gang *2* ~Menosavvy Mind Melt~' Copyright © Leonard Wilson
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Comment By: FreeLinear Z on May 27, 2007 08:41:08 AM Report
Those damn spirits, but then that is what you get from eating stuff out of the medicine bag. Did DeLong Granger not remember the old poster campaign? "If you don't know what it is, don;t eat it, you idiot"

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on April 7, 2007 08:17:38 PM Report
Len .. this is just awesome.. How I so enjoy your style of writing.. a western book cover to cover..((Smiles  Hugs ~ She Whispers
Comment By: FreeQuiltingLady on April 6, 2007 09:35:17 AM Report
Me and the gals are too busy with the James Gang to worry about the 'two faithful companions', we'll see them when ole Menosavvy sobers up.  It's like Yogi and the gang, running by the same pic-a-nic table and trees over and over...:o)

Miss Patty Pertnips

Comment By: FreeGlata on April 6, 2007 07:20:45 AM Report
And the world spins out of control, lol. Those powerful spirits will getcha every time! I guess the gals wasted that water for nothing, lol!

Thanks  for the giggle!

Oh, dang...That Kate stole my corset again...sighs...oh well. Looks like another topless chase through the upstairs halls again!

Miss Glata Galore...


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