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Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 31 Comments
Date Added: April 30, 2007 13:04:56 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Inspirational Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
The Unseen Hand

Beneath the Moon’s sapphire halo,
Loose tendrils spill, unbound from a chignon,
Become entangled in the wisps of a dream.
I watched the night’s betrothal
Suddenly fall into reverberating silence.
With my arms draped in pale chiffon,
I lift them in homage to the full-blooded monarch.
My private supplication on lips
Moistened in anticipation for
One taste from the kiss of benediction.
The veil shimmers, its filigree awash
With incandescent dew.
Vows spoken before the golden altar
Rise, carried on the fingertips
Of a delicate breeze toward the heavens.
And her rapture
Was reflected in my own.


Author's Notes:
Hey, it was posting my grocery list or this...

Thanks to Ross McCague for wonderful edit suggestions.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeJaveria on October 13, 2012 06:22:35 PM Report
EXCELLENT WRITE.....
Comment By: FreePaul Peter McLean on June 29, 2011 09:51:52 PM Report

Good work Jolen. I don't pretend to fully understand the context of the poem, (some sort of ritual perhaps?) but the images are crystal clear, and I can see you standing there, sans chignon. "Reverberating silence" is a strange phrase, since we usually speak about sound reverberating, but I think you get away with it as its strangeness is one with the rather unusual events taking place in the poem. I enjoyed this. You can keep the shopping list for some other time. lol


Comment By: FreeMary F. Charest on August 12, 2008 08:07:02 PM Report
Very beautiful poem.  Surreal.

Mary

Comment By: FreeSteve on May 22, 2008 02:09:22 PM Report

A very well crafted poem.  Your writing is strong and confident.  Congratulations on the award.


Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on September 4, 2007 11:28:54 AM Report
Congrats on another award for well written poetry!
Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on September 3, 2007 07:47:36 AM Report
Hey, beautiful. I don't remember ever seeing this one. A couple of things I might look at: First, Is 'Becoming' necessary? Maybe just 'Entangled', or even 'Entangling' - Entangled in the wisps of a dream reads easier to me. Second, maybe change 'falling' to fallen.
Besides those, I would say it is typically sensual for the sorceress, and, original for the - something beginning with o.

Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on September 3, 2007 02:18:19 AM Report
Heh, you dont need me to tell you Congrats......but Yay!
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on September 2, 2007 11:14:58 PM Report
This is a beautiful piece of work, Jolen. Very nice. Congratulations, babe. ML

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on September 2, 2007 06:02:45 PM Report
...and grocery lists ARE boring -- dont think one would get a Feature Poem Award!!!

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreeHelen on August 29, 2007 10:18:16 AM Report
Classic. Made me see visions of black and gold and maybe read, tall figures in a gothic cathedral, a transparent white figure suddenly appears and it's not a ghost...............

Comment By: FreeAntony Frank on May 27, 2007 04:13:33 PM Report
Great poem... Loved it.

 

Antony.

Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on May 13, 2007 09:23:27 AM Report
Filled with exceptional imagery.  I loved this.  The last line moved me right over the edge.  Wonderful dear friend.  Simply wonderful. ~Pamela :o)

Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on May 6, 2007 08:56:27 AM Report
Mystical and lovely. I can see you in the moonlight, chiffon trailing in the breeze. Had to look up chignon. My wife cut mine off. Love new words. jp
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on May 6, 2007 08:11:47 AM Report
You have really done the Goddess energy proud here and no mistake!!!
fabulous

Ali x

Comment By: FreeS on May 4, 2007 03:50:15 PM Report
great poem, font was a little much

 

Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on May 3, 2007 02:54:47 PM Report
full-blooded         reverberating           reflected in my own

 

Three possible edits. Mr. Pointy did a flip with all the apostrophes correct.

 

Noone writes about the moon with more imaginative resource, passion and feminine awareness.

Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on May 3, 2007 02:23:39 PM Report
Well, good choice then :) This is a really beautiful poem! I loved it!

~Shanna

Comment By: FreeLast Temple Knight on May 2, 2007 12:24:57 PM Report
Thank you for posting this wondefully inspiring poem instead of your grocery list.  :o)

Although that list might be a sight to see by itself. LOL!

Comment By: FreeAdri on May 2, 2007 05:53:25 AM Report
Well, if your grocery list is as good as this, post it too!!!  Wow, your back hey...  Great write Hard-On girl, you just have the stuff!! 
Juicy Girl x

Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on May 1, 2007 08:20:29 AM Report
Once more you have me in awe, to many good lines to mention them all, but this has made up for what the list may lack, Its beautifully written and a warm welcome back.
Comment By: FreeAngel on May 1, 2007 03:21:48 AM Report
I would much rather the beauty in this write than bananas and apples lol

 

Beautiful

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on May 1, 2007 02:37:44 AM Report
Taalk aabout your lovely imagery!!... You've come a loooooonngg way, baby!!.. Sounds very cerimonial, Aces..I've said this before, but I'm IMRESSED!!...yereverlovinfurball
Comment By: PremiumMelanie on April 30, 2007 11:08:56 PM Report
This is beautiful !
Glad that you are posting again.

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on April 30, 2007 10:41:32 PM Report
Lady Jolen
 Well I must say quite a list of things you must need... Oh . we have missed our sultry lady... Hugs ~ She Whispers

Comment By: PremiumVizualEnsemble on April 30, 2007 09:17:01 PM Report
Wow!! Long time no see....you come back with a bang!

This is awesome.....maybe you should post your grocery list,

I bet it is awesome too :). Good to see you posting again.

Wonderful as always.

Hugs,

~Penny~

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on April 30, 2007 06:12:07 PM Report
I seriously doubt the grocery list would be quite this interesting.  Very nicely done --

 

Lady D

Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on April 30, 2007 05:17:23 PM Report
You know, I was just saying to myself that we haven't had a posting from our Sorceress in awhile. So what happens? I look up and there it is! Welcome back Jody, the time away has not dulled your pen at all! This was just beautiful.  Henry
Comment By: FreeRichard Michael Cronin on April 30, 2007 04:23:33 PM Report
Well done Ms SS, and I'm sure your grocery list is quite poetic as well!
Comment By: Freetom on April 30, 2007 04:22:35 PM Report
very nice Ms.S I love it

hugs kisses

tom

ps how are you doing sweetie

Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on April 30, 2007 03:44:13 PM Report
You'd make your grocery list sound good, too good of a talent not to.
Comment By: FreeLinear Z on April 30, 2007 02:05:03 PM Report
Beautiful as always Sorceress.
And the poem ain't bad either, natch! It feels very much like your style of poem, spiritual, abstract, evocative. Nice work.
And good to see you posting again!





 


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