| Comment By: Tomahawk on September 9, 2012 03:37:59 PM
A work where there is hope as well as anguish, a fine poem, Jolen, first rate.
| Comment By: joyce ingebritson on January 10, 2008 06:39:33 AM
|Thank you for commenting on my poetry. I also have a sight on AllPoetry you may have read it there? I was breathless reading this write. So full of imagery! Very well done, I was held to the end.|
| Comment By: David Turner on January 4, 2008 08:26:08 AM
THis is a great poem Jolen - I don't know how come I have not seen it before. It has the power of some of the Stanzas in Tennyson's 'In Memoriam' or 'Break, Break, Break' and on the wholeachieved with a simple vocabulary - just like Tennyson, even 'sanguine' is a simple enough word but the overtones of calm and peaceful and bloody that this word conveys is wonderful.
For your appreciation and to justify my comparison:-
Break, Break, Break by Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
Break, break, break,
On thy cold gray stones, O Sea!
And I would that my tongue could utter
The thoughts that arise in me.
O, well for the fisherman's boy,
That he shouts with his sister at play!
O, well for the sailor lad,
That he sings in his boat on the bay!
And the stately ships go on
To their haven under the hill;
But O for the touch of a vanished hand,
And the sound of a voice that is still!
Break, break, break,
At the foot of thy crags, O Sea!
But the tender grace of a day that is dead
Will never come back to me.
In Memoriam, VII
- Dark house, by which once more I stand
- Here in the long unlovely street,
- Doors, where my heart was used to beat
- So quickly, waiting for a hand,
- A hand that can be clasped no more--
- Behold me, for I cannot sleep,
- And like a guilty thing I creep
- At earliest morning to the door.
- He is not here; but far away
- The noise of life begins again
- And ghastly through the drizzling rain
- On the bald street breaks the blank day.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
PS I think you are right that I have not been keeping up todate or commenting seriously enough on your work. I am trying to catch up now :-)
| Comment By: b doneff on September 11, 2007 08:58:46 AM
I can still only stutter and make feeble attempts at commenting on something as lovely as this.
I still had to come back and read it again though..beauty draws breath; and sometimes, the response is simply, a sigh..
I loved this..
| Comment By: Suzin on August 22, 2007 12:46:48 PM
|This poem was so deep. I loved the metaphors in this. Congratulations on your award!|
| Comment By: Roger Bacon on August 20, 2007 02:17:34 PM
At the crossroads I think fate can lend a hand to some extent. That's what I read here. Nice work J. Always a pleasure to read your work.
| Comment By: QuiltingLady on August 20, 2007 01:56:48 PM
Truly inspiring and congrats on the Featured!
| Comment By: James Thomas Whitworth on August 20, 2007 04:29:13 AM
You know, you are rather good at this. Have you ever thought about putting a book out or something?
In this piece particularly, we can see you gift for choosing the right word for a given situation. 'Enmity' because it also highlights your sponge-like ability to soak up and use things much later (we had it in a crossword a while ago), and 'forlorn', simply because of the noun that follows - forlorn cliffs would not be a common pairing were a survey to be done. And that is in the first two lines alone. Further on we also encounter my personal favourite 'violent beauty', 'commit' and 'transient': all of which could have been replaced by commoner, less-effective words.
Not just here, but in all your work, there is definite connection to what is beneath the surface of us, not just as readers, but as students. Often, a reading of you is like a lesson - a lesson in how to be, and then in how to show what we are.
If ever there is a time again when you doubt what you can do, or if you ever think back and wonder if you could ever make an artist, then trust me, you made it.
Now, get in that kitchen and make me some breakfast, missy!
| Comment By: Cindy Bendel on August 19, 2007 11:26:40 PM
Oh Jody....you amaze and inspire and hold us with every word as always! Outstanding work.
| Comment By: Mary Lou Allen on August 19, 2007 10:23:39 PM
|Some truly awesome imagery here, Jolen. Gritty piece of work. Well done, girl. Congratulations on the award. ML|
| Comment By: Lady Dragonwyck on August 19, 2007 07:39:21 PM
Ms S.S.: hooray!!! a Feature Poem Award !!
| Comment By: Pelagic Mind on August 16, 2007 08:41:06 AM
I must have missed this one the first time around, but glad someone recomended I read it. It's beautifully written, scans perfectly a very special poem I think!
| Comment By: Leonard Wilson on August 14, 2007 05:00:09 PM
|Yup...I read this some time back, darlin''..I STILL like it..:O)|
| Comment By: Sharon Jorcil James on August 8, 2007 03:10:04 PM
A fantastic dedication to your friend who must surely be fortunate to know you.
Words are somewhat inadequate to describe how beautiful this write really is.
| Comment By: b doneff on August 2, 2007 05:56:41 AM
Oh Jolen; aftre reading this, I can find no words to justify how beautiful this is. This is one you SHOULD be proud of! Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn....girl, I loved this from start to finish. Holy Hell, I am just too amazed to comment...
Your Bb who loves you and is wowed by your talent and heart...
| Comment By: Last Temple Knight on August 1, 2007 05:26:13 PM
|Truly remarkable... touched my heart and mind.|
| Comment By: Robin Constantinou on July 31, 2007 09:18:18 AM
|art is of many forms, espicially poetry, words from the mind, injected from the soul, and this piece is the most powerful, magnificent one i've read in a while, beautiful tribute jolen,|
| Comment By: Angel on July 30, 2007 12:40:56 PM
Beautiful Jody written to perfection
| Comment By: Henry M. on July 29, 2007 06:46:16 PM
|This is just beautiful Jody, writing at it's apex!! Henry|
| Comment By: Chuck on July 28, 2007 10:04:53 PM
exactly why I came...amazing words...your beauty makes me cry...out of a loneliness...for a touch of the soul that I wouldn't leave behind...your art....so good...and there is more time...for those who believe in that sort of thing.
| Comment By: lionheart on July 28, 2007 09:43:24 PM
Beautifully written dear lady.
| Comment By: tom on July 28, 2007 09:40:09 PM
beautiful tribute to a friend. I loved each line and stanza magnificently written Jolen
| Comment By: She Whispers on July 28, 2007 08:08:25 PM
Jolen .. This poem is a master piece lady!! *****
Your whispering voice is heard above the splashing waves as you look at this rugged beautiful place.. Hugs ~ She Whispers
Shall I walk to the edge of the precipice,
and commit this soul to drown in a sanguine sea
or simply turn away, secreting this moment away.
| Comment By: Linear Z on July 28, 2007 06:52:43 PM
|This is just wonderful Sorecerss. You have created such a wonderful image, and it flows perfectly. Fantastic as always.|
"My heart and hope buoys, my spirit an anchor of regret.
each equally reminding me of time…time there is yet."
| Comment By: Leonard Wilson on July 28, 2007 06:51:23 PM
"I gazed upon the forlorn cliffs.
Their cold and jagged crags of violent beauty
lay before me, shrouded in dense swirling mists.
Now THAT'S what I call WRITING! Just beautiful mind images and depth of feeling, Aces..I really like this one..Yereverlovin