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Author Name: FreeSilver Sun 8 Comments
Date Added: August 25, 2007 12:08:24 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Dedications Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Commandment

The candle flame hovers,

From your eye to the door, I look, then back:

Is it farther to enter than it is to leave?

Met by a calm, untroubled glance,

My thoughts cower from attention to bare my instincts,

Naked against the white-walled void.

From within yourself you speak with economy,

Answering in syllables

As if even one were worth more than I.

 

In your guarded affection you chance

To cross my vision but armís-length distant.

Demurely the lips part for your commandments,

Recited from a stony heart

Whose solemn nature belies its howl,

While the distance of dignity widens.

 

Had I been false?

Had I, in this chaos of chemistry,

Ever believed what should be would not?

I never so much as sighed

When your parted hands came together above my head,

In consecration and condemnation.

 

It was like your memory to forget Ė

To forget with cold estrangement

The necessities that once were shared.

If I had been a fool,

Or circumstance mystery,

Then would not that night have lasted?

 

Were I now to step aside

And explode into insignificance,

Would that cyclone circling in your eye

Die to a dull breeze?

If the process of memory called compassion

Should spread its wings and carry me home,

Still would remain, in doubtís shadow hiding,

The curse-stung cheek

And the thistle in the kiss.

Author's Notes:
 
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
 - Napolean Bonaparte (French general & politician, 1769 - 1821)
 
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeFilthy on October 5, 2007 02:43:13 AM Report
An incredible write. Congratulations on the award.

Comment By: FreeMoon Fairy on October 3, 2007 03:20:04 AM Report
Very nice write James~Congratulations!
Tracie~

Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on October 1, 2007 11:38:07 AM Report
You really put up a good one here.  The last stanza brings this full circle for me, in particular the last two lines. 
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on September 30, 2007 09:44:01 PM Report
Boy, this just makes me shudder. I expect it was meant to. Well done, James. ML
Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on September 30, 2007 07:37:18 PM Report
James:  well, congratulations on this very effective poem to receive Feature Poem Award.

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreeHeike on September 1, 2007 05:56:18 AM Report
Alienation and doubt have never been expressed with such candour and beauty.
This is an exquisite piece, again.
Best wishes,
~Heike

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on August 26, 2007 01:27:30 AM Report
James,
Sounds like a man with a problem that must be faced and not to give in until he feels this is the right thing to do??  Your poetry betrays so many feeling that you express!
~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on August 25, 2007 12:41:09 PM Report
James:  very well-crafted write. 

 

Lady D





 


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