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Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 27 Comments
Date Added: September 21, 2007 12:09:46 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Of Mice And Men
What cacophonous voices they have,
these men who speak common profundity.
Their articulation reads full well on paper
but bears not the mark of veracity.

Ah, but you say they have suffered,
And I ask of what affliction,
For all art has a price; only vanity
would seek it free of ascription.

Give me a whisper from the heart engaged,
whose lament upon the page reflects
true life, real living - times of loss
or winning, and moments of no regret.

If these small voices shall be as mice,
to live and die without great legacy,
they will still have played their part
in their performance of life's tragedy.

Amid the din of boisterous voices,
I listen for fading echoes of sincerity.

Author's Notes:
Thanks to James Whitworth and Ross McCague for edit suggestions.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeCathy on July 15, 2008 06:38:01 PM Report
Congratulations on another exceptional award for an exceptional write bravo to you loved every word
.......hugs Cathy

Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on December 31, 2007 05:54:48 AM Report

Squeak ! Squeak! squeak, squeak,  s,..: s,..:  ',..: ',..: .... .... .... ....  .  `` ,, .  . .. '


 


 


Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and grooving with Sensual Sorceress adore their Goddess!

 

Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on October 21, 2007 03:28:23 AM Report

Once again......your magic. Utterly incomparable dear sorceress! Congrats.


~Cindy


Comment By: FreeSuzin on October 16, 2007 09:51:48 PM Report
This poem is genius.  Yet again, this is another amazing poem! Congrats!

-Suzin


Comment By: FreeFilthy on October 16, 2007 03:54:55 PM Report
WOW! A deserving winner.

Comment By: FreeTimespell on October 16, 2007 02:18:49 AM Report
Congrats on your award for this fine piece of work. You really deserved it, it was a great piece of writing jolen.

 

All the best,

 

:O)

 

~T.S~

Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on October 14, 2007 11:26:41 PM Report

Good work Jolene.  This works brings out a lot of emotion for me, agreeing and not agreeing with the narrator. 


Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on October 14, 2007 10:21:41 PM Report
Well done, Jolen. Congratulations on the award. ML
Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on October 14, 2007 05:12:07 PM Report
Ms S.S.:  super congrats on this deserved Feature Poem Award.  

 

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreePelagic Mind on October 10, 2007 09:24:30 AM Report

I think what you are saying in this piece is that, writing from our own experience is honest and legitimate, but writing with a purpose for an audience is simply entertainment, praise seeking and a corruption of the "art" in living poetry.


 


This is really the difference in my book between poets writing an art form and the performing poets that perform their art. But I guess there is also a third category and those are poets that simply write for praise.


 


Alexander Popeís essay on criticism covers this point perfectly in my view.


 


Thanks for a thought provoking piece, and I agree with Len, itís written in an oratorís style..


 


Well done!


 

 

Comment By: FreeRobin Constantinou on September 30, 2007 07:33:47 PM Report
greatly done jolen, i loved it from start to finish, i like the way you share your soul with the world

~Robin

Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on September 26, 2007 10:18:17 PM Report
Stanza number 4. It takes it through the eye of the needle. What did Christ say about a rich man entering heaven? You have this unlikely, ornate, slightly overbearing structure which just slips through a narrow passage of grace as the piece starts closing down with head bowed and feet moving by themselves..

 I wonder if those monks in Burma will be successful.

Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on September 26, 2007 02:17:06 PM Report
Still like mark, but it looks good.

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on September 25, 2007 04:22:23 PM Report
This is not a poem...This is a dramatic oration, Aces...I can see a lone figure on stage, in darkness, except for a single spotlight..When a poem makes me see and hear, I know I've read something great...I'm SO impressed, darlin'.....yereverlovinfurball
Comment By: Premiumlionheart on September 25, 2007 12:13:58 AM Report
Do you hear an echo somewhere out here? It IS well done, 

very well done Jody.

 

Richard xo

 

Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on September 24, 2007 09:52:56 PM Report
Well done! Well done!!

~Shanna

Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on September 24, 2007 03:26:12 PM Report
Beautiful piece of poetry Jody, I loved this!  Henry
Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on September 24, 2007 03:24:04 PM Report
Indeed  - when the voices of men are silenced by Gaia in the whirlygig of her revenges, the mice will be scuttling and squeaking in the shadows and detritus down the vast edges drear
and naked shingles of the world, waiting to start the whole process all over again.

 

Small is beautiful

 

David

Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on September 24, 2007 11:29:01 AM Report
I agree with Barbara. Intriguing piece Jody, Joe
Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on September 24, 2007 09:47:31 AM Report
Here's your  great granddad:

 





She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways


She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:

A violet by a mossy stone
Half hidden from the eye!
--Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.

She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
The difference to me!

-- William Wordsworth

Comment By: FreeRoss McCague Rosco on September 24, 2007 09:42:19 AM Report
Like it. 'Eloquence of veracity'. Sounds like a Puritan knot. What about the 'mark of veracity' and we're into Hawthorne territory(Scarlet Letter) instead.
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on September 23, 2007 01:43:52 AM Report
Every bloody time I try to unravel life's mystery I always end up tangled up in strings! *laughs*

 

The third verse here is definitely my favorite. The two closing lines are a slam dunk but everyone before me has already said that so I need not echo it again. =))

 

~Barbara~ *high fiving all poets, great and small*

Comment By: Freetom on September 22, 2007 09:26:27 AM Report
Excellent piece Jolen love the line "Amid the din of boisterous voices
I listen for the quiet echoes of sincerity'.

sometimes a whisper says it all

hugskisses

tom


Comment By: Freeb doneff on September 22, 2007 08:49:57 AM Report
YOu are so right; sometimes a whisper  can speak much more loudly than any wailing, and sometimes a life far more interesting lies behind it. That's what always interests me more, those quiet lives, the ones that pass on when the owners do, never to have had much voice. This just had such peaceful qualities to it; it was like saying, ahhhhhhh, yes...
I really liked this one..
your loving bb
Comment By: FreeAngel on September 22, 2007 06:18:06 AM Report
Remarkable Jody

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeLinear Z on September 21, 2007 05:51:22 PM Report
LOL, this is simply wonderful, Sorceress. The tortured artist is our default state, and is likely the same for all who strive to create true art.
A fantastic peice of word-smithery and a great poem.
"Amid the din of boisterous voices
I listen for the quiet echoes of sincerity.
" The quiet echoes are where I find joy :-) but they are often the hardest to express.
Love,
D.

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on September 21, 2007 01:19:23 PM Report

Ms S.S.:  "...quiet echoes of sincerity" -- that is one good line.  Good write...


Lady D


 






 


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