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Author Name: FreeBlueyd553 15 Comments
Date Added: May 05, 2008 09:05:22 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Depression Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
I Close My Door
DSCN8679.jpg image by blueyedsoul_cindy
 
 
 
 
 
when my body is battle weary

and this rain will not desist

my mind a cloud of lost conclusions

then heart and spirit must insist

i close my door

so weak and tired, void of strength

across my bed this head i lay

i close my eyes and wonder even

how i will make just one more day

i close my door
 
all have gone, i am forgotten

a silent house on a sea of cares

awash in tears, sleep escapes me

broken and humbled, offering prayers
 
i close my door
 
Author's Notes:
*supercindy took off her cape today*
 
thank you david for always making me look better xox
 
 
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'I Close My Door' Copyright © Cindy Bendel
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeAndrew on April 14, 2010 02:22:13 PM Report

Super Cindy is a lot more super than she gives herself credit for - beautiful job of capturing the empty, hopeless feelings that depression can bring.  I marvel at your talent.


Comment By: FreeTessa on February 1, 2009 09:39:02 PM Report
i have more of these days than I would like to admit.

very candid write

Tess

Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on May 16, 2008 03:08:09 PM Report
'a silent house on a sea of cares awash in tears'.  A very humbling line that lets us readers into not only your poetry but your inner self.  You never cease to amaze me with what you can do with pen and paper.  On a personal note, only you know how to take care of yourself, but don't keep the door closed for too long. 
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on May 8, 2008 05:54:16 PM Report
Sometimes life just seems too much to deal with, Cindy...Believe me, I'v been down that dark hole....len
Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on May 7, 2008 11:36:56 PM Report
I'm sure glad "supercindy" took off her cape today...sometimes we need to "close the door" just to rest from life's stresses. Good write Cindy. Wishing you a better day tomorrow. Hugs
Helen

Comment By: FreeSamuel E. Stone on May 7, 2008 08:22:45 PM Report

Very nicely written... enjoyed...


Wishing you Well


Sam


Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on May 6, 2008 04:37:47 AM Report
I to have closed my door, yet softly, for fear that I may suffocate within the thoughts that that now surround me, harsh were the days and the nights persue relentlessly without cause or concern, good work Cindy.
Comment By: FreeS on May 6, 2008 12:22:38 AM Report
nice poem cindy
u usually wear a cape ? thats pretty awesome

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on May 5, 2008 10:28:59 PM Report
Cindy,
 Sometimes we have to drop the protective  cloak... My tears fall reading this..I know of this pain so well..
We have to let go of the past to have a future...
Hugs ~ She Whispers

Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on May 5, 2008 08:44:33 PM Report
Hi Cindy I am sorry to hear that Super Cindy has become a mere mortal today. Whatever evil green rays are sapping at her energy flow, here is a mantra to counteract them - "Iwill survive!"

 

THe structure of thiis piece with the repeated short chorus works very well. The rythym and rhyme are great too though in the 3rd verse I think some polishing would be good:-

 

"all have gone, most turn away
a  house silent,  floating on a sea of cares
sleep escapes me, my tears a companion
broken and humbled, offering a prayer"

 

You could fix the final rhyme with :-

 

broken and humbled, offering  prayers.

 

the second and third lines seem to long to me for the rythym  :-

 

a silent house in  a sea of cares
sleep escapes me, but not my tears.

 

I hope he comment are useful,

 

David


 

Comment By: FreeHenry M. on May 5, 2008 04:47:44 PM Report
Sometimes you have to close the door to shut out the trials that life brings. A closed door allows you to be vulnerable where no one can see it! Great writing Cindy, and don't worry, you're not alone... I dropped the "S" from my chest a long time ago.   Henry
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on May 5, 2008 01:44:23 PM Report
I gets like that doesn't it?

That darkness can seem so alienating. Yes, close the door for a wee while. Willing you better

 

Ali xox

Comment By: Premiumlionheart on May 5, 2008 12:52:44 PM Report
I think you closed the door in one respect, but you opened it in another.

You did good with this write Cindy.

 

Hugs,

Richard

Comment By: FreeSteve on May 5, 2008 10:17:31 AM Report

You have captured the feeling.  Moments of joy leave to quickly and depression becomes an unwelcome guest we canít get away from.  One tomorrow will bring comfort and peace.   I really like your poem.


Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on May 5, 2008 10:05:01 AM Report
Sometimes it happens Cindy and when it does, we can just out the big sigh. Terrific piece here, Joe




 


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