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Author Name: Freewritelady 10 Comments
Date Added: December 05, 2008 07:12:33 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Love Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
RAIL
 
 
 
I waited patiently,
nervously twiddling my thumbs,
controlling my breath;
so that you would not know
the way my skittish heart
was so submerged into your simply coming near.

There was nothing to expect,
not of strangers.
We met on the rail every morning.
You with your paper folded beneath your arm;
me, with my hideous,silly raincoat.
Yet, I knew enough of you
to have you invade daily thoughts
and continuously wonder. "What if?"

My response, brief and small,
the moment decomposing, falling to a cold, steel floor.
Conceivably, the notion of not knowing
much better than answers to the ifs.
Author's Notes:
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeAngel on January 12, 2009 07:17:27 AM Report
This was a fantastic poem B. If you dont take risks one never knows what may pass them by.

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeChris B on January 3, 2009 01:23:03 AM Report

Very nice and wise write. So many times, I think I have the answer and ignore everything else...


 


Chris


Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on December 18, 2008 05:58:57 PM Report
Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.....But sometimes not....Ya just never know until you take a chance, huh?....len
Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on December 9, 2008 09:46:21 PM Report
Ahh, the train ride crush! Funny how our minds do wander on the rails eh Barbie? Very well written as usual.   Henry
Comment By: FreeA.P. on December 9, 2008 12:55:17 AM Report
i like this, the idea of being better off not knowing the answers and simply delighting in the possibilities instead...being so overly consumed internally and yet never knowing if the other person has any idea...
loved this line: "the moment decomposing, falling to a cold, steel floor", so richly worded.
nicely expressed!

Comment By: FreeMoon Fairy on December 5, 2008 09:48:22 AM Report
Barbie,
I love this! Simple and romantic..You did good hun, send us more.
Hugs,
~Tracie

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on December 5, 2008 09:23:18 AM Report
This is just so cute to read this morning..what if??
Love can find you anywhere...
 YOu need to write more along this line..
Thanks for your kind comment on my poem.
HUgs and Love my friend ~ She Whispers


Comment By: FreeCeeCee on December 5, 2008 08:27:50 AM Report
Very sweet....enjoyed this, Barbie!

 

CeeCee

 

Comment By: FreePelagic Mind on December 5, 2008 08:17:14 AM Report

Hahaha.. Excellent write, caught the anticipation and the promise of an every day occurrence wonderfully.


Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on December 5, 2008 07:38:36 AM Report
Have you been watching 'Brief Encounter'? Great film, a real weepy!

 

David





 


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