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Author Name: Freewritelady 7 Comments
Date Added: January 04, 2009 08:01:23 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Grieving & Loss Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Grief in Black and White Part One

Marjory

 

When winter drags her feet through the snow
leaving trails where the tips of grass long suffocated
and birds flock to brown, dried dead sunflower heads
I try to remember your smiling eyes.
Was it so many years ago when trails were
made by our young footsteps lightly treading on
spring grasses and leaving only the scent of love in the air behind us?
Mourning depletes my spirit.
I never said I wouldn’t miss you,
only that it was alright to go.
Do I regret it?
That permission, was your key to enter the unknown
and my gauntlet to run, with flat affect.
No, I would not have held you to your promise when
doing so only caused you pain;
even when it caused me mine.
My heart literally stopped yesterday when I found a single strand of your
hair on the closet floor. How did I see it? What was I doing in there anyway?
Had you been there, watching me sleep?
I could only hope, and wonder.
I placed it between the pages of a book we once read together
then held it to my chest while the heaving came.
I am weary of do gooders who come calling
at the most inopportune times and make idle chatter.
No one knew what to say then, or now.
Death is the one time it seems people are at a loss for words.
They mean well, I know; and you would tell me
to be grateful when all I want is to be alone with thoughts of you.
Selfish, isn’t it?
Not your way at all.
You would have invited them in and said," Marjory, put on the coffee!"
Time doesn’t heal wounds;
only death accomplishes that.
The great eraser of sins and dreams,
sorrow and victory, all gone, within a single last sigh.
Even the food, what I manage to eat, is void of flavor.
Whoever said canned pasta would sell, never ate it.
How long can one exist this way?
Months? Years? I don’t care to be brave and find out.
No, no. That was you role, the brave one.
Now I drag my feet around the house,
tending our orchids and listening to our favorite tunes
from musicals like Oklahoma! And watch reruns of
old home videos, still in flannel, drinking coffee out of your mug.
Do you miss coffee where you are?
You would never approve, but you are not here to reprimand me,
are you? Shame on you for leaving, shame on me for letting you go.
Shame on death, and life, and winter too!
I cannot see an end to her trails, but ours lingers two miles
down St. George’s Road, stopping with a headstone bearing your name in the
lower part of the cemetery.
I suppose they think I need this map to remember where you rest.
 
Some days, I cannot wait to fill the plot beside you.
Author's Notes:
I know these are long, and I'm not sure I divided things up just right..anyhow, thanks..there are four parts.
b
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeA.P. on March 23, 2009 10:11:09 PM Report
wow you have expressed yourself so honestly, so well, I read and (at the risk of being cliche) felt every word with you...To me, this read like a truly poetic narrative account, one of those moving short stories that just makes me feel.
I was truly affected by the last few lines.


Comment By: FreeAngel on January 9, 2009 09:21:26 AM Report
This was truly magnificent B. An excellent piece of poetry. The tears wont stop falling for your sad loss. Your in my thoughts and prayers baby.

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on January 8, 2009 06:39:24 PM Report
To bring back a term from the sixties...this is HEAVY... Every line is just filled with raw emotion. len
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on January 4, 2009 04:18:21 PM Report
I have so many fine things to say about this piece that I'm sure I will be accused of giving far too much praise but so be it...this is an excellent piece of work and deserves every bit of praise it has so truthfully earned.

 

I loved the opening, found it delightfully poetic -- it set up the rest of the poem beautifully. That you focused on the past joys (smiling eyes and young footseps) was a light introduction to the dreadful loss of a dearly loved life partner.

  

"No, I would not have held you to your promise when

doing so only caused you pain;

even when it caused me mine"... to me this seems a fine revelation of selfless love. (bravo) The simplicity here is refreshing, the subject unravels with such well placed detail that the piece carries the reader along. The characters within are revealed through the many special personal points that are so wonderfully threaded throughout the entire piece. I absolutely loved the bit about the strand of hair and how it was saved in the book and later the "heaving" that followed...a down to earth way of exposing this kind of intense pain.

 

"The great eraser of sins and dreams,

sorrow and victory, all gone, within a single last sigh."...great lines here Barbie, well stated. It reminded me of a scripture which speaks of death and concludes with (something like), "the dead are conscious of nothing at all". 

 

The repetition of "our" in the conclusion of the piece is a very effective way to show how unified the couple were as they shared their lives with one another.

 

"and winter too!

I cannot see an end to her trails, but ours lingers two miles

down St. George’s Road, stopping with a headstone bearing your name in the

lower part of the cemetery." ...excellent!! I thought this was hard hitting and would be 100% satisfied if the poem ended right here.

 

This is an appealing creative piece of work Barbie. It was a pleasure to find and enjoy. I found it to be heartfelt, (I'm unaware of where you drew your inspiration) realistic, and yet not overly sappy. (for lack of a better word) Excellent penning!

 

~Barbara~   

 

 

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on January 4, 2009 02:34:56 PM Report


A deep and authentic picture of deep mourning and the accompanying feelins of futility and loss of joy ...Really moving but not over done.

Ali x

Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on January 4, 2009 01:14:08 PM Report
Barbie, this is one of the saddest pieces I've ever read. It is also one of your finestpoems, you take us on a trip through the grief you're experiencing and bring our hearts along with you. I am sorry for your loss and pray that your grief passes in good time.   Henry
Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on January 4, 2009 09:28:17 AM Report
O this is beautiful Barbie - one of your best I am sure and certainly a favourite for me.

 

You wrote:-

 

Death is the one time it seems people are at a loss for words.

They mean well, I know; and you would tell me

to be grateful when all I want is to be alone with thoughts of you.

 

Well you are not at a loss for words. You are a poet and it is the job of poets to find the words when others are at a loss. It is the test of a true poet which you pass magnificently in this poem.

 

David





 


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