Some of what Iíve prayed for in secret
seems like such a lost cause, Father,
a feeling of hopelessness seems to resurface
but in the midst of my uncertainty
I rest assured all is by Your timing
as Iím brought to my knees again and again.
Iíll be honest, part of me was seeking my own will
and Your roadblocks have gone up
hitting me right in the face and slapping me
right back into reality which hurts.
Why do I pursue such painful things, Father?
I knowÖ..You want me to answer that question.
Well honestly, Iím having a very hard time moving forward
without some sort of pleasure in my life
and no, in the end, the pleasure doesnít make me happy.
Yes, I speak about what I do
I donít mean to sound boastful or proud
but when does accepting and talking about a weakness
become an issue of pride?
There are external voices putting me down for believing in You.
They rush and are so quick to judge for the very same things they do.
What Iíve come to realize is
a person whose heart is cold and dark
seeís himself or herself as good and sweet
unable to see how bitter and sour
their deeds reveal them to be.
They donít speak about what they do,
therefore they believe all their actions are one big secret.
They donít believe in You, Father,
they sing You no praises nor give You glory.
They have no hope in You.
Their hope is in he who works against You.
While those who have even a little light in them
can see how bitter and sour their deeds can be.
We cry not just for own own sins
but for the sins of others.
Right now Iím speaking of sins of the flesh,
but this can relate to other things.
When we come to the realization of
just how bitter and sour we are,
the sin is confessed and repentance is sought.
In this way
many are seeking right-standing with You, Father.
We believe in You, O Lord,
We sing You praises and give You glory.
All of our hope is in You.
A hope that You will rescue us from this darkness
wherein lies treachery.
Dark hearts without You, target those who share the same sin,
yes, those who confess the sin and believe in You.
In their rush to judge and in their hastiness
They are unable to see how their judgment returns to them.
Iíve learned this through my own experience,
therefore, I do not react to them.
I let them speak away and act away.
Am I judging them in any way right now? No not at all.
Iím just sharing what Iíve come to realize
but, that question, I will leave for You to answer.
You be the judge of that.
Who will You save, Father?
Those who donít believe in You, or those who do?
Those who donít sing You praises or those who do?
Those who donít give You glory or those who do?
Those whose hope is not in You, but in themselves and Satan
or, those whose hope is in You and in You alone?
I pray, Father, for those who donít believe in You.
I pray for those who donít sing You praises or give You glory.
I pray for those whose hope is not in You.
May blessings enter their lives and
fill them with a new found hope.
May they be given eyes to see each blessing
and knowledge to know it comes from You
and only You.
If I didnít pray for them, Father,
how would I be different from them?
Most importantly, how could they come to know You
without such an example?
It is here and praying in this way
I am left with no uncertainties or the feeling of a lost cause.
Here I am finding another pleasure
I also pray for all who believe in You.
All who give you glory and sing You praises
and all whose hope is in You.
May they find peace under the clouds
and rest in the assurance of Your protection and provision.
And I pray for the answers to my unanswered questions, Father.
I know all is by Your timing and Iím patiently waiting.
I ask this in Jesusí name,
And before I go, I just want to say thank You, Father,
thank You for everything I come to experience
both good and bad for I know
all are leading me to You.
Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty,
Who was, and is, and is to come.