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Author Name: FreeBug 14 Comments
Date Added: May 09, 2009 14:05:34 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Eros
I once saw Cupid out of character,
his eyes alight with fire all his own—
and band-aids stretched across the flaming red
of self-inflicted wounds (some arrowtips
protruded from the quiver ‘neath his chair).
He didn’t seem so grand dressed up in black;
his halo and white tunic hid from sight.
And at the table sharing drinks with him:
a creature to make any goddess blench.
But still he wore the rosy blush of love.
 
She waited for the check, for him to pay,
before she asked him roughly not to call:
Romance does not appear your strongest trait
she said, before she stood and stalked away.
Forgotten was the cell phone by her plate,
so Cupid took it out into the street
and in his anger shot at it three times.
It landed in a lonely woman’s hand
and started ringing, but it wasn’t him
this time.
 
               I watched him raging at the sky,
at the fates, at Venus or at Vulcan,
Zeus’ harpies, and Mercury’s winged feet
before he turned and asked me, softly: Why?
I almost pitied him in some small way.
Apologies were forming at my lips.
Instead, I ran my hand along his bow—
said: we’ve been asking you for centuries.

 

Author's Notes:
A blank verse poem. Iambic pentameter (with a few subsitutions) and it mostly doesn't rhyme. However, I'm open to suggestions for how to change the lines which do rhyme, and also the line in parentheses (I don't like the word 'neath, but I couldn't solve it without creating a long, complicated line).
 
Thanks so much for reading!!
 
~Shanna
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'Eros' Copyright © Hannah Mae
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeZaschere Aye Earthan on June 10, 2013 05:36:09 AM Report
wow.. I LOVE this one. kinda want to draw something from it, not sure what part yet, but images are dancing in my head like a drunken flying dwarf.....
Comment By: FreeAndrew on January 14, 2010 03:47:51 PM Report
i wouldn't know an iambic pentameter from a ferrigated goglameter (okay i made that up), but i know what i like and i like this!  i hope you had as much fun writing it as i did reading it - clear to see why it won an award
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on May 26, 2009 11:03:15 AM Report
original and well written. congrats on winning an award
Ali x

Comment By: FreeJennifer on May 23, 2009 11:24:29 AM Report
This deserves every bit of recognition it gets!
CONGRATS
Jen

Comment By: FreeSteve on May 19, 2009 01:41:32 PM Report

Congratulations on a well deserved award Shanna !


Comment By: FreeAdri on May 19, 2009 04:37:17 AM Report
Well deserved win!!  Congrats on the Feature Poem award.

Adri x

Comment By: FreeMoon Fairy on May 18, 2009 12:45:18 AM Report
Shanna,
I love this write, very clever. Congratulations to you!
~Tracie

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on May 17, 2009 10:45:39 PM Report
Shanna:  congratulations for the Feature Poem Award for this write.

 

Lady Dragonwyck 

Comment By: Freejess on May 17, 2009 10:27:00 PM Report
Shanna,

This is a great piece. Congrats on winning the Feature Award for this one.

Comment By: FreeAmy on May 17, 2009 10:24:23 PM Report
Congrats on the feature! This is such a clever write....one that begs to be read more than once.

Good job

~Amy

*saved

Comment By: FreeSteve on May 9, 2009 04:59:13 PM Report

Your poem is very well done.  I often wonder when I am reading a post how much of the author is being  revealed?   Have I learned something about you from this?  "I once saw Cupid out of character....."  I really like this line in a poem that is full of wonderful words and images.  This is going on my favorites list.


Comment By: FreeFred Clark on May 9, 2009 03:53:04 PM Report
Stunning writing Shanna, its been a while since I've read something as good as this...

 

Fred

Comment By: FreeFred Clark on May 9, 2009 03:53:02 PM Report
Stunning writing Shanna, its been a while since I've read something as good as this...

 

Fred

Comment By: FreeSavannah Ollar Jordan on May 9, 2009 03:41:35 PM Report
Oh this poem is sweet.  It opened me up to thinking about cupid in a way I never could have thought up myself and poor little deprived one needs us but equally we need him so let's keep asking him...why? why? why? and then one magic day his arrow sticks and there is the one and then our love life begins.  I guess we can just be his friend and maybe someday???? He will find a loving one.   The magic of poetry is in it's variety - all the various minds creating and sharing.  Thanks so much for a really good write.   Savannah

 





 


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