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Author Name: Premiumsheedreams 5 Comments
Date Added: July 30, 2009 13:07:03 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: General/Word Banks Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Eclipse
 
 
      As I sit here staring at your  snapshot    
...those were the days, I sigh
What I wouldn't give  to exchange this plastic world
For what was once real, organic
and so full of your own brand of  careless optimism
We tasted breezy ocean tides and pasted our dreams
together in hopes of making a big splash in Malibu
But now I-55 no longer holds the keys to our euphoria
Instead a cold cup of community coffee sits on my glass coffee table
in my fashionable ground level condo
Passersby with curious eyes peer into the  smokey
 full length windows and see Fontanna, my beautiful rescued greyhound,
my prize...lying with graceful ease
as tho she was born and bred to spend languid days
on my red velvet sofa...listening to the faint sounds of smooth jazz
Perhaps the onlookers recognize my room on display as the one
photographed in last month's edition of
Bright Interiors
But oh baby!  I would gladly exchange your one snapshot for my
smooth glossy spread any day...
Yet decisions once made can never be traded...
nor commitments painlessly broken...
I realize now...much too late ...as I fear the eclipse of my life has arrived
...whether permanent or temporary, your beautiful, simplistic light
no longer shines for me....
 
 
 
Author's Notes:
word bank words:   organic    ocean     eclipse     greyhound     exchange    red velvet sofa
 
glass coffee table     breezy  euphoria     oh baby!     keys     simplistic     Fontanna    I-55
 
graceful     community coffee     snapshot     optimism/optimist
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeMaples on November 1, 2010 07:53:00 PM Report
Oh Linda, I almost cried when I got to the end of this. Two words to descrive it is the simplest way, DELICATE AND BEAUTIFUL. I love what you've done with this words, I felt the lose in the end, with you and you have spot on captured a greyhound in this!

 

Meg

Comment By: FreeMichael Motil on November 21, 2009 11:44:44 PM Report
Sheedreams, I felt a very real sense of loss and longing from this poem. I hope you find some sunshine. Mike 
Comment By: Freejohn carter on August 4, 2009 08:27:30 AM Report
Your poem without the wordbank is so good. We have so many words that we trap inside sometimes wordbanks un lock the little boxes we place on hidden shelves or forgotten corners. I like this Linda.

                                                                      YT friend John

Comment By: FreeHanane on July 31, 2009 01:53:27 PM Report
Well panned Linda. I congratulate you for such a good work.

 

Yours,

Han

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on July 30, 2009 01:20:55 PM Report
Wow..... What can one say??
Your an amazing writer with all the emotions one needs to write great stories..
I am so impressed.... Emotions that reach out with such longing.....
 Hugs ~She Whispers





 


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