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Author Name: Premiumsheedreams 9 Comments
Date Added: December 08, 2009 23:12:19 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Nature Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Wide-Awake Eyes
 
 
winter storm passing in the night
     micro-burst is not a gentle breeze
           giant palms sashaying in the wind
 
 
needing a hand to hold in the dark
      winter storm passing in the night
           silver moon taking a short vacation
 
 
blue bolt penetrating the skylight
     painting the white pillowcase blue
            needing a hand to hold in the dark
 
 
silver moon taking a short vacation
        blue bolt penetrating the skylight
            piercing a pair of wide-awake eyes 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Author's Notes:
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'Wide-Awake Eyes' Copyright © Linda Jo
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeMaples on November 5, 2010 09:02:04 PM Report
Great Work! You were so visual with every detail, its like were right there. Your imagination always leaves me shocked!

 

Meg

Comment By: PremiumHOPE on March 22, 2010 10:11:31 PM Report
I really really like this.  I can't figure out the pattern of repeating words but I think that is what I like most about it.  It flows so well.
Tina


Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on January 29, 2010 06:27:53 PM Report
I'm not a fan of repetition but you have made repetition work wonders for this piece. To me the repeated lines were an indication of the event happening again, like the "blue bolt penetrating the skylight"...and this is exactly how it happens, over and over again. Storms like this frighten me. At times like this I'm the one who is "needing a hand to hold in the dark". *shiver* Wonderful work, bravo!

 

~Barbara~ 

Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on December 9, 2009 01:00:32 PM Report
Magnificent write, Linda Jo!  Great imagery and expression of emotions.  Lethal combinations for a poet's mighty pen.  Thanks for sharing.
Comment By: FreeAndrew on December 9, 2009 09:41:21 AM Report
this is terrific - great imagery takes us to the scene - and i'm always a big fan of trees that sashay!
Comment By: FreeHarold Ham McLelland on December 9, 2009 09:26:29 AM Report
Well written Linda Jo!!!  Hopefully, the silver moon will see the need in our wide awake eyes and cut short the vacation...
Ham
Comment By: FreeAminath Agleema on December 9, 2009 05:52:28 AM Report
lonely wide awake eyes. beautiful poem
Comment By: FreeMoonStar on December 9, 2009 01:10:40 AM Report
I'll say!!! This was divine and it sprang right into my senses and tore them up!! Way to go gal!!

 

Moonie xx still in awe..

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on December 8, 2009 11:58:14 PM Report
I think you have said it all!!




 


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