You know you're not Mom's favorite,
she loves me more than you;
That's why she keeps on hoping,
you'll die from the Swine Flu.
No one even likes you,
they call you fat and easy;
You know, not every man alive,
wants a girl who's sleezy.
Just keep on telling yourself
these things you think are true
But just to clear the record
I am mom's favorite...not you!
You say I'm fat and easy
but in fact it's just your pride
That's taken such a beating
When from you all men hide!
Ha, that's the biggest joke I've heard,
since the day that you were were born;
Men seem to flock around you, Sis,
but only in your Porns.
Naked doesn't suit you well,
in fact, I want to vomit;
I can't believe you e'er get kissed,
your breath smells just like Comet.
Your jealousy rings out so clear
It shines just like the sun
The men all seem to fall for me
And you can't capture one
And as for my fair naked form
Your voice just drips with envy
Because of my deep, lucious curves
While you're just straight and skinny!
You wish that I were jealous,
then your ego this would boost;
But let's face the facts, dear sister,
when it comes to men, you lose!
You could be the poster child,
for Suicide Annonymous;
Your bodies fat, that's for sure,
but your face makes us all naueseus.
If that's the case, dear sister mine
Then why, oh, why, pray tell
Do I get all the handsome men
And you get the...uh...oh, well!
Your jealousy just knows no bounds
When men all my way look
Because your face looks as if it were
All smashed in with a book!
Now see here, I resent that,
I'm not jealous in the least;
I don't envy your body hair,
you look like Bigfoot's niece.
Just where are all these hunks,
you claim to have been with;
They looked like losers to me,
you scanky, little witch!
You should go look in the mirror
And see your face contort
Who's the ugly duckling now?
When you're all out of sorts!
You were the one that complained
About the men all liking me
So you should check your reflection
But you won't like what you see!
I would look in the mirror,
but you looked in it first;
Now it's all cracked and broken,
thanks alot, you bag of dirt!
You look like a Giraffe,
with that skinny, little neck;
And when men meet you on the streets,
they say, "Ewe, what the heck?"
You just keep contradicting
Everything you said before
Just proving over and over again
You're nothing more than sore
You say I'm fat then skinny
You're just a dingle-berry
Because some fellow looked my way
That you wanted to marry
You've made me very angry,
dear little sis of mine;
So now I want revenge,
oh yeah, it's pay back time!
I have a man already,
I don't want one of yours;
Mine's intelligent and handsome,
your's are nothing but eye-sores.
If you're talking 'bout that fellow
That took you out last night
And you're calling him handsome?
He gave me quite a fright!
And to complicate the matters
You brain-warped, crazy hag
He thought the same about you
As o'er your head he put a bag!
That's it, you skanky little slut,
listen close, oh sister dear";
I have had about enough,
'tis the last from me you'll hear.
This means war, you pile of dung,
I'll seek revenge on you;
Now take back all the things you've said,
your' face looks like a Shrew!
Bring it on, you hairy bat
You don't have what it takes
You'll look like the mangy do you are
With those smiles you try and fake
You want war? You really do?
Well, whatever, you little turd!
Your breath is such a putrid cloud
Your rants just can't be heard!
Bring it on, dear little Sis,
you betcha I want war;
And after I kick your big butt,
you'll hear from me no more.
It's all your call, give up or fight,
you coward of a twit;
Everyone knows you will lose,
this battle of the wits.
You yack and yack, that's all you do
But a war you cannot win
For you know that I am the best
Better stop before you begin
You're chicken squat, so give it up
For a war of wits you'll lose
Besides, mom told me you're adopted
So take that, you brainless goose!
You meely mouthed, little Troll,
better keep your big trap taunt;
Now I can throw a big party,
cause family we are not.
I have had about enough,
of all your wicked ways;
Don't say another word to me,
for I've no more to say!
Break out the wine, I'll celebrate
For you finally have no more to say!
My ears can finally get a break
From the crap you jabber all day!
Now you know why mom loves me
And ignores your whiny snot-nosed self
Because you're just pesky brat
That should be put on the shelf!
Ok, you've finally went too far,
I'll have the last say so;
Why don't you just go back to Mars,
you big, fat, stinky Ho!
Now pack your bags,
you're outta here;
And don't forget,
your keg of beer.
Nah nah nah you whine and cry
Now please do me a favor
Pick another cheese to go with your whine
And for God's sake, make it another flavor!
My bags ARE packed, you jealous brat
Mom's going on vacation with me
We're leaving you there at the pound
For a week...or make it for three!
Your eye's are full of envy,
cause you wish you were me;
Well let me tell you sister,
a Jill you'll n'er be.
I'm ending all this argueing,
you'll not hear from me again;
You better start repenting,
because ugly is a sin.
If ugly is a sin, dear sis
Best find your fire-proof clothes
Ole Scratch is waitin' for his bride
And the sulfer will burn your nose!
You say a Jill I'll never be
And I thank God for that!
I'll stay a Glata (happily)
And at least my butt's not flat!
Your butt sure isn't flat,
but your staunchy jokes sure are;
And talk about how bad you look,
oh where, oh where to start?
But I still love you anyway,
you ghastly, horrid beast;
When you are in a mental ward,
don't forget to sign a lease.
My shapely tush you envy so
And my face you've wished was yours
Instead you look like...well, take a look!
And your eyes will break out in sores!
But family ties still bind us close
And though we fuss and fight
I love you, sister, dear of mine
With bonds of love tied tight