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Author Name: Premiumsheedreams 10 Comments
Date Added: March 24, 2010 00:03:47 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Broken Hearts Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Closure
                                                Closure
 
 
Yesterday, she woke from her
deep blue dreams,
put on a pretty smile,
zipped up her black leather boots
and walked out the back door.
 
Not one sunrise did she greet and say,
boy, I sure miss whatshisname.
The straw that finally broke the camel's back
was salvaged and put into a bundle
with the other bare twigs and heavy limbs
dedicated to a worthy cause...
sweeping the sidewalk clean.
 
Years of waiting to hear the words,
I'm sorry, diluted their importance.
In the middle of a thank you note
for his unexpected windfall
he inserted the words, I'm sorry
I didn't have to be so mean. 
 
As if a rushing stiff breeze blew
years of memories into her face...
Tears, like diamonds on the floor,
swept the sidewalk clean.
 
Forgiveness, a liberation of the heart
does not need to wait for an apology.
Today, lime green pollen dusts her sidewalk
like a welcome wreath upon her door...
 
the first sign of spring.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Author's Notes:
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'Closure' Copyright © Linda Jo
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeHenry M. on March 24, 2010 01:28:51 PM Report
To close a door of your past that has long been left ajar is perhaps the hardest thing to do. Your words display a strength that has made those words into steel Linda. Great poem!   Henry
Comment By: FreesHeRi on March 24, 2010 10:40:15 AM Report
From beggining to end-Excellent

Sheri

Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on February 14, 2010 08:02:25 PM Report
Thank you Linda Jo, maybe one day I'll find my closure. 

Thank you.

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on February 13, 2010 11:32:29 PM Report
Excellent penning Linda. This was filled with so many treasures that I'd be quoting most of it to give it all the praise it deserves. "

As if a rushing stiff breeze blew

memories in her face..."...loved this line...how often that stiff breeze catches a person off guard. I love this piece, it is a fine example of "showing" and not "telling". The one suggestion I have (and offer because you ask for a detailed critique) is that you remove the telling word "closure" from the poem as it isn't needed...it detracts rather than enhances the piece. Loved this wonderful poem Linda! Bravo!

 

~Barbara~ 

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on February 7, 2010 08:42:55 AM Report
The title was perfect and the ending was full of hope. There was a story feel to it too which made it pleasant to read.
The intermittent lack of punctuation is always a bug bear with me as you know ;-) lol so say no more (only mentioning this as you asked for detailed critique)
Your work is coming into its own.
Ali x
Comment By: FreeAlfred on February 6, 2010 01:53:32 PM Report
Nice use of the image of a straw boom sweeping the sidewalk. The broom holds the straw that broke the camel's back. You really know how to put a bad relationship in its proper place.
Comment By: FreeWide Awake on February 6, 2010 11:38:56 AM Report
Very poetically woven dear lady...transforming an ugly experience into something literarily beautiful!

Well written Linda. :o)

Hugs,
Pamela 

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on February 4, 2010 11:09:46 AM Report
Sometimes thats the only way to heal is walk away
and never turn back....

Comment By: FreeMoonStar on February 4, 2010 01:21:49 AM Report
Oh those sweet goodbyes!!! How I so love them!

 

Goodbye old life! Goodby old friends, past, memories, house, all I held.

 

Goodbye lover!!!

What a wonder of a write my gal, and so right on that it felt like I was reading my own story.. The Black boots part, oh yea, me for sure!!! This was sweet as honey, yet full of passions sting!

 

Moonie xx

Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on February 3, 2010 10:20:52 PM Report
This is the coolest poem Linda Jo!  It's going into my treasure chest of poems, at the very top.  I'm loving this poem.  It gave me a good dose of closure too!  Thanks.




 


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