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Author Name: Freeavanheerden 31 Comments
Date Added: February 13, 2010 14:02:52 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Depression Add To Favorites | Text Only
My Own Personal Prison

This emotion burns everything…
surrounds me
inside me

my future
my past

my present.
I try to fight
with the sliver of dignity
I try to hold on to,

but fail.
My jaded mind try

to piece fragments
of happier times  together;
numb fingers fumbling with ice splinters
melting in the fire of tears.
living dying breathing
Escaping is futile
accepting, not optional
forgetting; impossible.

Sleep eludes me
chaining me to my own
personal prison;
where I never stop thinking

never forgetting,
only breaking
and replying the pain
over and
over and
over again

I can not flee.
I do try to break free…
but I’m shackled to myself.
I my nightly struggles,
I wonder if this will end…
but knowing already,
it’s really just
a rhetorical question.

Author's Notes:
It's not really been a good day
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'My Own Personal Prison' Copyright © Adri
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Comment By: Freetonya turner on November 2, 2012 06:52:33 PM Report
Very powerful and emotional write.
Comment By: FreeJohn Armlovich on October 29, 2012 03:32:41 PM Report

A good poem, simple yet captivating. It speaks of a feeling that so many write about and have differing opinions of and, I believe, is an almost essential feeling for a poet. It is much the same as unrequited love for a bard. Thanks for sharing,


Comment By: FreeVic Damico on October 10, 2012 04:00:52 PM Report
Hi, Adri...I love this write. It is filled with emotion and very representative of inner struggles. It is very similar to something I wrote last year called, "A Prison Within Our Own Minds." I may post it at some time. Thank you for sharing this one...Vic
Comment By: FreeMary F. Charest on November 1, 2010 04:33:24 PM Report
Nicely written, emotional poem.  Good job.  Well deserved award.

Comment By: FreeMary F. Charest on November 1, 2010 04:31:51 PM Report
Nicely written, emotional poem.  Good job.  Well deserved award.

Comment By: FreeDamon D. Brewer on September 14, 2010 08:41:05 PM Report
So sorry you were having a bad day my friend.



Comment By: FreeRyan Meckes on August 6, 2010 05:00:04 AM Report
i love the form you chose for this poem. I've always wanted to write poems that don't rhyme and yet can convey a sense of flow such as what you've done here. I enjoyed this.
Comment By: Freealisha on June 6, 2010 11:18:44 AM Report
congratulations on the award well deserved :-) keep writing! love it...


Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on June 2, 2010 09:24:20 PM Report
You express these deep, dark feelings so well. It's good to write about them while they're upon you because when the sun comes up again, it's easy to forget how devastating they were. Thank goodness. Well done, Adri. Congratulations on the award. ML
Comment By: FreeGlata on June 2, 2010 08:38:54 AM Report
Congrats congrats congrats, dear Ah!!!! I'm thrilled to see this award! You are VERY deserving of this award!

Glad to see it here!

Love ya me gal! Congrats all over!


Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on June 1, 2010 01:41:19 PM Report
Dear Adri.....This was such a chilling write....Indeed, the title brings us to you and your innermost struggles....You have reached to the depth of your Soul to bring us the anquish upon parchment...We do battle within, but oft times if we "write" out our feelings/emotions, then it might dispell some of the pain....this certainly deserved the Award....Congratulations...May sunshine enter that talented Soul of yours....

Comment By: FreesHeRi on June 1, 2010 01:21:49 PM Report
Enjoyed this the first time and now it is confirmed..I do have great taste and so does CP-

Wonderful write and so deserving of an award..congrats Adri dear.



Comment By: FreeAndrew on June 1, 2010 10:08:13 AM Report
bravo!  so nice to see one of you special works recognized in this fashion - richly deserved!
Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on June 1, 2010 08:06:44 AM Report
Adri:  The dragons are soaring and the unicorns and pegasus are line-dancing.  It is quite busy with them celebrating you getting a Feature Poem Award.  


Lady D

Comment By: PremiumHOPE on May 31, 2010 03:31:09 PM Report

Well I hope your day gets better.  But it has produced and outstanding poem.


Comment By: FreeTristan on April 28, 2010 11:47:08 PM Report
Wow...  Adri:  I hope that these terrifying thoughts and feelings are finding their way into your past.  Your descriptions are heart-breaking and soul-wrenching.  What a beautiful poem exposing the deepest parts of yourself in the midst of so much darkness.    You wrote more than once that forgetting is impossible -- but you don't have to forget, remember... and let go.  I read once that happiness is like a crystal, broken and scattered through life.  We may find bits and pieces, but no one finds all the pieces.  The wise go on their journey, find what they can, piece them best together and imagine the crystal, broken as it is.  I guess we learn to be thankfuk though our part of it is small -- there are so many pieces no one finds them all.  I had a friend tell me while I was experiencing many of the same feelings of hopelesness, that even in the darkest forests of human experience, there are always puddles of moonlight to dance in.  I hope you find your way.  If I can ever be there with you, let me know.  Tristan
Comment By: PremiumDan J. Mazurek on April 22, 2010 10:05:48 AM Report
after reading this I felt like you used your tears for ink to comnposed this wonderful exposé.

first time  here

shall return my dear

Comment By: FreeMelody on April 16, 2010 09:35:07 AM Report

This shows even bad days  something good can happen. This poem was awesome in everyway. Speaking of each emotion running through you at the time of this creation .You have a fantastic ablitly to allow the reader to experience just what you felt.

Comment By: FreeDamon D. Brewer on April 7, 2010 02:33:30 AM Report
Very good work my friend!  I hope things are better now.  Damon
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on March 26, 2010 04:17:07 PM Report
Sounds like the mother of all bad days, kid...Great descriptions of the feeling, Adri...len
Comment By: FreeAndrew on February 24, 2010 08:12:45 AM Report
wow - might not have been a good day, but it certainly is a GREAT do such a masterful job in conveying the hopelessness you are feeling....."My jaded mind try to piece fragments of happier times  together;
numb fingers fumbling with ice splinters melting in the fire of tears." - such a power grouping of lines.  also the physical way in which you structured this work (some long lines, some containing only two words) magnified the importance of each line.  this is wonderful work - hope you've had happier days since....

Comment By: FreeSteve on February 16, 2010 10:48:11 PM Report
I wish to pass my feelings for you as an emotional flame that will warm numb fingers. This will allow you to cup your hands and safely hold the love that will over flow in to your life. 
Comment By: FreeJennifer on February 16, 2010 08:47:43 AM Report
at first glance of the poem... I see the shape of an hour glass that thins out then again thins out then again like a never ending hourglass... Then I read your words and was like wow, that is kind of what it is like... depression is repetitive over and over, I know. Some days better than others, This poem totally captivated me. Probably because I know these words first hand... I know this comment is probably just jibberish.... But hey My thoughts are with you and I also send ya a Big Bear HUG!!!

Comment By: FreePeter Sammylin on February 14, 2010 08:41:51 PM Report
Hello Adri,

This was one beautiful work of one's feelings, a splendid verse breathing out the heart and soul of the poetess....  What to do when we are in a thunderstorm and can not seem to find any shelter?  Prayer works for me on moments as such.  Anyway: Just loved this composition and i send its creator all of my best wishes for some sunshine soon!

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on February 14, 2010 07:17:32 AM Report
A very heart rending poem expressing perfectly the agony of depression and feeling there is no escape. Try to hold onto the realisation that 'everything passes' good and is the natural order of things. A friend of mine is suffering in much the same way right now and having been there myself I know how alienating it all depair.
The sun is still shining even when it is is shining still in another part...I wish there was something I could do to free all seems so unfair. Many are with you urging you step at a time.
Ali xox
Comment By: FreeFilthy on February 14, 2010 03:21:56 AM Report
Having never suffered from depression, I have no way of knowing how you feel. I can say that I do hope this passes soon, Adri.
I'll add that this is probably the best thing you've writen. There is a power in these words like nothing else on your page.
Try and keep your chin up sweetheart.
Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on February 13, 2010 11:49:38 PM Report
Beautiful expression of how you feel.  I'm sure you feel better now that you've expressed.  Hope you feel better soon. Smile!
Comment By: FreeGlata on February 13, 2010 10:16:28 PM Report
Wow, Adri...this is heart-rending! My dear little sister, you know I am farther away than a word...and you can always talk to me...We can cry together!
I love ya girl...

Comment By: FreesHeRi on February 13, 2010 03:32:30 PM Report
shackled to myself..umm that says it best.

We do share common struggle.

Nice write



Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on February 13, 2010 02:33:58 PM Report
"numb fingers fumbling with ice splinters
melting in the fire of tears."....excellent!! (my favorite part of this piece)

"I can not flee.
I do try to break free…
but I’m shackled to myself"...very emotive penning Adri. It is so hard for me to be objective and give a critique when I'm drawn in to a piece like I am with this one. I feel the turmoil and agony...the helplessness and weariness of your personal've experessed yourself wonderfully. I'm sorry for your struggle...I can relate to this piece and want to applaud you for sharing your fine work with us. I'll save this as a favorite...very well done!


~Barbara~ *sending a friendly hug to you*  

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on February 13, 2010 02:28:24 PM Report
Adri:  such a sad forlorn write.  Sometimes Life just seems to let "the demons" have free access and make us as unhappy as possible.


I send my best good thoughts your way and wish you could come and sit in my Garden and we could just let all the unhappy fade away.


Lady D


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