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Author Name: PremiumTristan 6 Comments
Date Added: May 02, 2010 20:05:13 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Philosophy Add To Favorites | Formatted Version
 
Corners of Our Minds
  Corners of Our Minds   Observing candles in the dark and shadows in the night, I find my thoughts arising there and lifting into flight.   My mind begins it's wandering into the depths of you, Iím seeking there the hidden place one night I saw into.   You opened up your life to me to search your hidden home, where fancied dreams once filled your heart and now the sorrows roam.   You told me of  a circus tent -- the one without a clown, the frightful night when high wires failed and then the net fell down.   The fraying ropes unwinding there while platform stands were downed, then ropes that held the trapeze up dropped acrobats to ground.   The circus came to town no more nor with it came the crowd, you still recalled the bodies laid with Big Top as their shroud.   Remembering that moment then when we would meet the train, the cotton candy once we knew you now recalled the pain.   I know those places where, in you, your heart stores up your tears, and simply seeing in your eyes  I still can sense your fears.   I know the layers of our lives where sunlight does not shine, I know that as I see in yours you also see in mine.   So well I know what's hidden there we dare not lose a day, for stories only told to me our secrets they will stay.   Some other feelings drive our hearts -- not just the fair in town, not acrobats in death laid out, nor when Big Top came down.   And now the secrets that we share can take my breath away, yet there is nothing left to do but live and love each day.   So as we go, remember not the times when fears trespassed, but cling to parts when lighter hearts lead from our darkened past.          
Author's Notes:
Rhymed quatrains with alternating 8,6,8,6 syllable lines in iambic metre.  In this poem, Big Top and the tragedy of the night, are metaphors for a horrible memory in a friend's mind.  We've all got things that we put in places within ourselves where only we can go. Often we need to share those places with one we love. Hopefully, by sharing the pain and the fears, we can grow through the experience and become more able to transcend the torment and continue the journeys of our lives with renewed purpose and passion. This poem speaks to reality's nightmares that can remain in the dark corners of our minds, and reminds us of the need to share them.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeMichelle on June 22, 2010 05:08:44 PM Report
I appreciate the effort you must put into your poems, but you make it seem easy. You are truly talented, and this piece is especially good.

 

Michelle

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on June 21, 2010 12:08:48 AM Report
I enjoyed the "Author's Notes" every bit as much as the poem. "I know those places where, in you,
the heart stores up the fears,"...such an intimate connection and only because this person allowed you in. Splendid penning Tristan!

~Barbara~ 

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on May 6, 2010 02:34:03 PM Report
This is such a deep and interesting work, Tristan....It delves into the emotions of two linked into a situation that shall be indelible in their histories...It is very well written, on target with rhyme and meter....Bravo!!!  VERY nicely done, and a pleasure to read....

Margaret...the Baglady

Comment By: PremiumGlata on May 3, 2010 12:48:32 PM Report
Another outstanding write, Tristan...You are definitely a beneficial asset to the site!

glata

Comment By: FreeAdri on May 3, 2010 03:57:43 AM Report
Beautiful metaphors used.  An exceptional piece of poetry! 
As always, a brilliant write
Adri x

Comment By: FreeMelody on May 2, 2010 09:02:14 PM Report

I loved the metaphors, but mostly the bond of two huddling together sharing and fighting their fears. This was deeply emotional and a wonderful testiment to what lovers do Share and stand as one against all odds real or of the mind. Excellent






 


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