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Author Name: Premiumsheedreams 17 Comments
Date Added: July 06, 2010 00:07:45 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Spiritual Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Reason Trumps a Magic Dream
 
Reason Trumps A Magic Dream
 
The Logic of a girl once led astray
Forced her to say good-bye without a kiss
Do lies prevail and far from Truth outweigh?
With aching heart on magic dreams she drifts.
 
She wrestles with her dreams each fretful night
To walk the road beside a wicked sea
Then whips her wayward heart until contrite
Is this the way that life was meant to be?
 
She begs for Truth from high above to shine
And peers into the night where clues await
A banquet spread beyond the hands of time
Where Love finds nourishment devouring Fate.
 
So how can Reason trump a magic dream?
When Time no longer tip-toes gracefully
As rivers leap their banks from floods upstream
She changes course and sleeps more peacefully.
 
The gift of healing hearts a touch supplies
When Mercy fuels the warmth within her breast
Just like the ardent flow when baby cries
Blends Esperance with Dreams; a soft caress.
 
Each rock she turns gives her a chance to say,
"For if I live or die...my choice is made!"
Explaining options plucked along the way
How Faith affirms the sacrifice portrayed.
 
The Logic of a girl she long forsakes
To find the secret person of the heart
She draws from wells of her own past mistakes
Embracing wealth that Wisdom will impart.
Author's Notes:
I would like to thank Tristan for the inspiration found in his award winning poem, The Race.  Two lines caught my eye and moved me to comtemplation...He was gracious enough to lend me the two lines and suggested I place them within the context of my own poem.  The lines are: "So how does reason trump a magic dream?"  and  "Love is nourishment that fate devours".   
 
Not a believer in fate I changed the wording slightly to say..."Love is nourishment devouring fate"  Can fate explain the effort we put forth to do things with the motive of love?  or explain the cost of sacrifices we make?  or deliberate choices we make along the way?
 
I thank Tristan also for helping me with the challenge of iambic pentameter and word choices that improved the feel and flow.
 
 
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeHenry M. on October 28, 2012 04:03:52 PM Report
Iambic pentanamers ar every difficult to write, but you have done a wonderful job on yours Linda Jo!   Hugs,  Henry
Comment By: Freejamieson steele on January 13, 2011 10:58:28 PM Report


Linda,


   Children do make a difference


when we make the right choices


instead of leaving it to fate.


 


All the best


for a mother's love,


 


Jamieson

Comment By: FreeMaples on November 14, 2010 11:53:56 AM Report
What a magical write of lessons learned. You have done a stunning job with this one LJ!

 

Meg

Comment By: FreeMichelle on September 8, 2010 12:48:08 PM Report
WOW! All ur poems are awesome but this is my top fav of your works!!! It speaks to me and my experiences in life! Thanks for sharing it!
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on August 2, 2010 04:42:26 PM Report
Linda Jo, this is an incredible piece of poetry of your own heart. With the addition of my favorite meter man's touch you have absolute perfection. Your ideas and wise thoughts carried this beautiful, heart rending piece straight to my heart. I think we all  have questioned reason more than times than we like to remember.
~Cindy 

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on July 16, 2010 08:37:17 PM Report
This is so well put together, with deep feeling and expert wordsmithing...Great stuff...len
Comment By: PremiumHOPE on July 10, 2010 02:57:15 PM Report
Linda Jo

This is just fantastic!  I love it.  The last line is just great, I hope one day that I find myself  there. Going as one of my fav's.

Tina

Comment By: FreeRobert on July 8, 2010 09:38:38 AM Report
A hard lesson learned is this well said well said indeed
Comment By: FreeMoonStar on July 8, 2010 04:38:33 AM Report
Oh my what a masterpiece of the written word you have brought forth to us.. You have taken all and rolled it into one of the finest I have seen in some time. The ending stanza so makes this a piece all will remember for such truth inside these words. I especially love these two lines, for they hold such meaning.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 



 

Each rock she turns gives her a chance to say,

"For if I live or die...my choice is made!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

This is going into my fav list to look upon in moments of thought.. Hats of to Tristan for giving you the idea for this.. Hats off to you for bringing forth a piece that touched us all!

 

Hugs,

Moonie xxx Your HH sista

Comment By: FreeAlfred Berggren on July 7, 2010 12:01:44 PM Report

The Quatrains are beautiful and skillfully constructed with a rhyme scheme of abab in iambic pentameter.Poem seems to say to me that as we live our experiences make us wiser and stronger. I think I read that in the last Quatrain of the poem.


Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on July 7, 2010 11:12:11 AM Report
Dear Ljo....I love that you have chosen "Love is nourishment devouring fate", and if this is so, then it is your destiny and fate....I feel that we carve and construct our destiny and paths and even if our 'magic dream' does evolve as such, then we need change an a change within love....
Your work is meticulous....beautifully choreographed into a splendid work of art for gifting the site, Ljo!  And, if Tristan helped, then thank him for us as well...Iambic Pentameter is there for the artist, and you have painted us a splendid canvas...Bravo!
Margaret...a friend in words and fabric...

Comment By: PremiumTristan on July 6, 2010 11:32:39 PM Report
You have penned a wonderful poem.  Your story, expressed from the heart, is presented magnificantly in a garden of thoughts and feelings nourished itself by an intelligence that shames the one to whom you have credited for your own brilliance...  The flow and meter was as smooth as a ripple on the water of a quiet stream.  If you are not exceptionally proud, you should be.  Tristan
Comment By: FreePeter Sammylin on July 6, 2010 07:45:20 PM Report
Hello Linda,

This is such a work which has one left with a sigh of gratefulness for what the eye and heart just received!  A delicate weaving of lines birthing a verse so rich, a journey so wonderful, an experience most rare!  Is there not a person to pluck me at the cheek for i do feel like dreaming still....

Peter,
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on July 6, 2010 02:54:32 PM Report
Hi Linda
You have really used the help and written a lovely poem. I would put it into the competition. Good for Tristan to help you but the poem and credit are yours Alison x
Comment By: FreeBarbara Carleton on July 6, 2010 09:57:17 AM Report
Henley said, 'I am the master of my fate'.  I think we, like the girl in this poem, can and should take responsibility for our future by drawing on the wisdom offered from our past.  Otherwise it is all such a waste. 
Comment By: FreeAndrew on July 6, 2010 08:11:49 AM Report

if partial credit goes to tristan for this, then hats off to him!  wonderful piece - "She begs for Truth from high above to shine nd peers into the night where clues await..."  - beautiful


Comment By: Freemandate on July 6, 2010 05:12:34 AM Report

Linda,


I really like this piece. I love what it says about using past mistakes to gain wisdom and how it allows her to forsake the 'Logic of a girl'. I also like the meter and rhyme. I have always been partial to the iambic form and pentameter is my favorite. Tristan's influence is apparent. The message and the strict adherence to the iambic pentameter form put this one right in as one my favorites so I can enjoy it over and over.

Manny





 


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