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Author Name: FreeMaples 4 Comments
Date Added: October 29, 2010 11:10:34 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Time to Take Charge....Word Bank from Linda Jo
As wind blows strong inside my head,
I'm hit with a feeling that I dread.
 
I'll hold back the curtains,
so you can see,
mandarin orange slices,
all they have to eat.
 
Resonant young voices,
hold us till we cry,
there always forgiving,
even those that die.
 
Dripping history like a faucet,
this has gone on way too long,
when things break down,
you realize we are wrong.
 
Children form a multi-colored border,
all starving just the same,
as you take your last breath,
we watch you fly away.
 
After you are gone,
I carry your footprints in my heart,
maybe after reading this,
it will initiate a new start.
 
--Maples
Author's Notes:
This is my first work bank poem so its not the best but I did enjoy trying something new :)
This poem refers to the starving children of the world and how we should do more to help.
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'Time to Take Charge....Word Bank from Linda Jo' Copyright © Maples
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on October 29, 2010 10:25:35 PM Report
Ahhhh, Megan, I truly love what you made of this word bank...It takes a generous heart to think of others, and especially warm and wonderful for the children...You did an exceptional job of working the words and phrases within your lines...Very nicely done....There are some very hungry, under priveleged kids in the Oregon area...We all try and help, but the economy is tough now....
Again, you did well...

Margaret...the ol' Baglady, with mandarin oranges in her cart...

Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on October 29, 2010 08:57:00 PM Report
...children form a multi-colored border...that must have been your signal line that set this poem in motion.  It is powerful and gives a solid foundation to your poem.  to me it says children of all nationalities are all deprived of their basic necessities...they should be playing and having a carefree life but hunger and starvation is what they face.  not fair...I carry your footprints on my heart...it show how deeply we should feel about this situation...and it should move us to action....very strong entry from the word bank, Megan  ♥
Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on October 29, 2010 04:25:12 PM Report
I loved your poem.  I think you did a great job Megan.  Good use of the words in my opinion.
Comment By: Freee. Gene Myers on October 29, 2010 04:16:26 PM Report
If this is not your best, than the rest of us may be in trouble.  This is good.
I think you did a great job with it.  I'm a Vietnam Vet. and have seen the starving children upfront.  In this world where the Good Lord has given us so much, there is no need for anyone to starve.
Good write for a first.Gene




 


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