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Author Name: FreeMarkS 1 Comments
Date Added: April 03, 2011 21:04:49 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
It's Not A Tumor

Hi Steve!

Huh?? Who said that???

I did.

Who the hell are you???

You don’t wanna know.

I’m hearing disembodied voices!! of course I want to know!!!

No, I don’t think you do. Trust me.

Stop SAYING THAT!!! I WANT to know!! I don’t want to become one of those crazy nut jobs whose head is constantly twitching to the right as he walks like Igor down a crowded street, while having a FULL ON conversation with the BASEBALL TEAM inside his head!! Now who the hell are you???

You’re not gonna like it.

Who CARES??? Read my lips…I…WANT…TO KNOW!!!

I can’t see your lips.

TELL ME!!!

I’m a tumor.

.......?

Yup, a BRAIN tumor. Told you, you wouldn’t like it.

A brain…tumor?

Don’t say it like a puss! Put a little gusto into it…like this: A BRAIN TUMOR???

I have a BRAIN TUMOR???

Better…and that’s an affirmative Stevo. It’s about the size of one of those antennae balls from Jack In The Box.

THAT’S BIGGER THAN A GOLF BALL!!!

Oh yeah, much…AND it’s inoperable too. You’ve got less than six months to live.

WHAT???

Exactimundo Stevie boy! It’s hopeless. Do you see that conference room over there?

The one with the Snickers logo?

The very same. They’re taking a Snickers Peanut Butter Squares survey, and they believe you would make an excellent test subject! Well, I say go for it! Live it up! Gorge yourself on Snickers Peanut Butter Squares!! You have absolutely nothing to lose!! You’re going to be dead in a couple of months anyway! You may as well eat what you wanna eat…and you definitely want to eat Snickers Peanut Butter Squares!!! So dig in! And when you’re done come into the conference room and tell us…I mean…them…what you think.

Do ya think he’ll fall for the old walkie talkie in the coat pocket, pretending to be a tumor trick Whitey?

Everyone falls for the tumor trick Mako.

Arnold Schwarzenegger didn’t. He just kept screaming "It’s NOT a tumor”!

Fine, everyone but  Arnold Schwarzenegger falls for it. Shhhh! I just heard something! Here he comes!

%^^&^&!! Crash!!! %^%*$!!! Thump!!! #!@*&^^!!! Chomp!!

Mmmmm, he was the best one yet!! Tasted like he really went to town on the peanut butter squares!

Oooohh yes! I concur! Steve was delicious!

 

Author's Notes:
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'It's Not A Tumor' Copyright © Mark Spencer
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
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Comments:
Comment By: Freee. Gene Myers on April 3, 2011 10:51:07 PM Report
I take it that sharks know how to use walkie-talkies now.  How do thety get them to work under water?

Cute take off on the commercial.

Gene





 


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