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Author Name: Premiummazurekd 3 Comments
Date Added: June 07, 2011 22:06:55 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Love Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Out of Sight Out of Mind?
 
I saw you on the mountain top.
Are you too far beyond my reach?
Will you ever ask me to climb that lofty peak?
Should I desire a love that isnít mine to keep?

Feeling down lately for I dare no longer look up.
What have I been handed but loneliness in a cup
I pour out the bitterness to empty again that dish.
While a shooting star just missed another futile wish.

Can you look this way to see a river of my tears?
My testimony is a field watered by wasted years.
No shadows dance here not even a candle for light.
I wait in darkness for only you can end the night.
Author's Notes:

Taking classes again in English, class assignment. I  rather let you all grade me. Lol

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'Out of Sight Out of Mind?' Copyright © Dan J. Mazurek
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on June 17, 2011 12:06:04 PM Report
I commend your every effort! To learn a new language is difficult but to write in that language is an added challenge for sentence structure etc differ in languages. Press on Dan!



The emotion that comes through in this poem (to me anyway) is exasperation. I feel it is written with a heavy heart. Getting our emotions across is not an easy task but you have accomplished that here Dan.



~Barbara D.~

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on June 8, 2011 12:13:57 AM Report


As I read this message... it speaks out with such emotions.>>>

This last verse ....Exposes your feelings with urget knowing....(((


















Can you look this way to see a river of my tears?

My testimony is a field watered by wasted years.

No shadows dance here not even a candle for light.

I wait in darkness for only you can end the night.
Author's Notes:


















Can you look this way to see a river of my tears?

My testimony is a field watered by wasted years.

No shadows dance here not even a candle for light.

I wait in darkness for only you can end the night.


















Can you look this way to see a river of my tears?

My testimony is a field watered by wasted years.

No shadows dance here not even a candle for light.

I wait in darkness for only you can end the night.


















Can you look this way to see a river of my tears?

My testimony is a field watered by wasted years.

No shadows dance here not even a candle for light.

I wait in darkness for only you can end the night.


Author's Notes:


Can you look this way to see a river of my tears?

My testimony is a field watered by wasted years.

No shadows dance here not even a candle for light.

I wait in darkness for only you can end the night.

Comment By: FreeJim Kistner Jr on June 7, 2011 11:00:34 PM Report
I think this expresses that unattainable love well...it also reveals that even though the subject of the poem has 'given up' in one sense,



"What have I been handed but loneliness in a cup

I pour out the bitterness to empty again that dish.
"



the love will always be present and hoping for the day when it can be released.



"Can you look this way to see a river of my tears?

...

I wait in darkness for only you can end the night."






 


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