I'll tell you now, I was never meant to be seen
Going 'round turning cartwheels everywhere
Or ever trying to fit into a pair of skinny jeans
I was born plump, round and contently peaceful and quiet
As such, I never had to work at my physique
My form required no such strenuous workouts or diet
To the hoi peloi....I'm fat, just a sloppy, rotund lard ass
Who's mission simply is....to live to eat, nothing more
They're ignorant, they have no clue, they have no class
I am, in fact, a highly educated, sophisticated man of culture
Not just some disgusting, beer swilling Humpty Dumpty
I'm a man who dines discretly, not like a common vulture
Now much is made of slender people and their virtue, it seems
They get all the attention and kudos for everything
Well, I hate to spoil this fallacy, ruin anybody's pretty dreams
But the truth is, us full figured folk are making great stride
Getting more attention and credit for who we are
Seems that the tables are turning, let's hear it for porky pride!
More and more actors are getting kinda chubby and cute
Jeans commercials are starting to cater to the zoftig and portly
CEO positions are 'fattening up' and ponying up the loot
Us pudgy gents are even finding slimmer girlfriends, too
They found out that there's more to love, with us around
All these groovy choices! Now what's a fat boy to do?
Even some politicians are 'letting it all hang out', in shirt and blouse
And they're always in the public eye, as you may well know
Yeah, one day, some chunky monkey might even get elected to the White House!
So, we're making great advances, no longer do we hide in shame
Cuz, some folks are chucking their Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig
Go ask Kirstie Alley, if you don't believe me, the larger frame is the name of the game
So there it is, I rest my case, I'll just leave it go at that
Times, they are a' changin', give 'piece' a chance
Cuz thin may be where it's been....but fat is where it's at!