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Author Name: Premiummazurekd 25 Comments
Date Added: September 22, 2011 12:09:20 Average Score: 8.4
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Type: Free Verse
Category: Love Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Stirrings
Some people will chisel a name into stone.
Others choose a hot iron to char the wood.
Or watch a sculptor labor with his tools.
The artist can lift a face out of the crowd.

Will heartaches ever fade with the passing of time?
A face in a crowd can bring back those days anytime.

The skywriter message is in a loop de loop.
Our moon wears forever a set of foot prints.
A ships propeller leaves a wake in the ocean.
The tattooist waits eagerly for you to decide.
.
Can a rose hide its petals from the love me or nots?
Does a lily open first to the warmth or the sunlight?

The earth and moon will trade long shadows.
I have yet to touch one of the eight wonders.
The tumbleweed sketches to by rolling over.
Granny’s tireless hands are kneading dough.

Can love become like a circle you will never find its end?
Or like a child’s rising balloon lasting till far out of sight?

Clouds pulled like cotton candy across the sky.
The Aurora Borealis dancing
 will turn all eyes.
Puppy brown eyes plead take me home today.
Never in my world have I been easily swayed.

What is love like without the flame?
Cards dealt just for a solitary game.

A kaleidoscope of images has refuge in my brain.
Toiling night and day to deliver up what is insane.
With no time outs provided in their dreamscape plan.
An incoming arrow was just a blip on the radar screen.

What is love without the pain?
One will lose and one will gain.
 
With a smile you decorated my heart.
And carved a red rose to melt the ice.
Under the flower etch the healing part.
"I will forever love you at any price.”

No more tossing coins down an old wishing well.
The wheel of fortune is no longer spinning for me.

A lighthouse beacon paves a path further than I can see.
White caps waves like stepping stones are beckoning me.
The sky above with your love has no limit since I met thee.
Behind is a tree with a heart and arrow that will forever be.

 

Author's Notes:
well i went by the old climbing tree made it to the first limb.. lol
now i can rest my heart and pen finally..
Report Offensive Poem.

'Stirrings' Copyright © Dan J. Mazurek
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
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Comments:
Comment By: Freeleahlopez on July 14, 2013 08:03:35 PM Report

I can understand why this poem is a favourite of yours. You have expressed some remarkable quotes here Dan. Well done!

 

MITZEE

Comment By: FreeSensual Sorceress on September 14, 2012 04:08:45 AM Report
Hi Dan,



Some nice stuff here, however you ask for 'brief critique only' so I would suggest that you send this to me via pm if you want to know what I would suggest. There are several issues I'd address were it me. 




blessings

Jolen

Comment By: FreeJanice Herzog on July 14, 2012 03:09:40 PM Report
Dear Dan:  This is very beautifully written!  Janjan
Comment By: FreeConnie on July 11, 2012 01:45:49 PM Report

This is a beautiful poem. Really well written, beautifully worded. So descriptive with some great emotions. There's so many great lines and paragraphs but my favourite is:

 

"The sky writer message is in a loop de loop.

Our moon wears forever a set of foot prints.

A ships propeller leaves a wake in the ocean.

The tattooist waits eagerly for you to decide."

 

Just beautiful.

Top marks!

Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on June 12, 2012 09:20:34 PM Report
How beautiful.  So many lines that really stood out for me, like: Can a rose hide its petals from the love me or nots?  and  What is love without the pain?  One will lose and one will gain.  



Very nicely done.  I enjoyed this so much.  ~Pamela

Comment By: FreeKymberly Donn on June 4, 2012 02:37:40 PM Report
This is what poetry is ALL about. I don't have the vocabulary to express how truly beautiful this piece is.



~KD~

Comment By: FreeAminath Neena on April 13, 2012 10:55:38 PM Report
Truly, one of the most beautiful poems that I have read. I had to read it a lot of times. Thanks a lot for this.
Comment By: FreeSteve on October 5, 2011 09:41:11 PM Report

An excellent write, so true what is love without pain?


Comment By: FreeDirk Kruger on October 5, 2011 01:46:45 PM Report
wow Dan, this is superb, what can i say , everybody before me have said it all, all i can say is a second WOW


Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on October 5, 2011 01:03:50 PM Report


 Dan... I went back and read this again..... For some reason it speaks out differently....

 I must admit it clutches ones heart... You write with your heart so exposed...

***** Hugs ~She Whispers

Comment By: AdminRichardM on October 4, 2011 09:27:36 PM Report
The  interesting weave of pictures and ideas within seems to set up waves, with heights and depths of emotions in time. As my mind breaks upon the questions as they are presented, it's quite a journey. I knew I arrived in the final stanza. Very personal and enjoyable indeed! Thanks for sharing with us!
Comment By: FreesHeRi on October 2, 2011 01:18:27 PM Report


dan-This is my favorite of poems of all poems. Your imagery is endless and painted such a deep emoionally connective vision. I loved every word and every emotion it sparked in me..beyond going to my fav's..it will be printed and carried with me.


 


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment By: FreeAngel Wings on October 1, 2011 09:19:12 AM Report
Dan, this is so beauiful . i love it!!
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on September 30, 2011 06:53:16 PM Report
Very thoughtful and poetic verses, Dan.



""I will forever love you at any price.”



That's when you know you have the real thing...Good stuff!!...len


Comment By: FreeMary on September 29, 2011 03:53:57 PM Report
mmmm,,,,the taste of love i feel so deep within my taste buds...



What is love without the pain?

One will lose and one will gain.







once again great write 




mary

Comment By: PremiumHOPE on September 28, 2011 07:14:06 PM Report
Dan



a wonderfully deep poem.  Love,  is truly a "battlefield", a struggle .  "not easily swayed"  "Love without pain"   But once you've found it, it is yours.  I loved the hope you expressed in the end.  Yes Love can be hard on the soul but it can move continents and bring so much solace and peace. Thank you for the invite, I read it twice, a great piece.




Tina

Comment By: PremiumShirls on September 28, 2011 03:29:08 PM Report


Great write Dan! You have a way with words.


 


Shirls

Comment By: FreeMoonStar on September 28, 2011 01:49:02 AM Report
Whoa!!!! You just took my breath away with this masterpiece. Freestyle at its best and I do mean best! I so love doing that type of style and this made me feel like I have no clue on what freestyle even is. What a thrill this was, Your words brought forth so many images and I agree with all on saying this was the finest piece of work I have set my eyes on in a very long while.. To favorites is right!!! And not many go there guy..



How proud I am of you!!!



Write on Dan, write on....



Hugs

Moonie xx


Comment By: FreeJim Kistner Jr on September 27, 2011 11:11:03 PM Report
This is..simply wonderful. To me it tells of the lasting affects one who we love(d) has on our life, even years afterward. An excellent free verse...almost makes me sad you waited before trying this style...please write more  :)



Comment By: Freepatricia kena on September 27, 2011 06:32:18 PM Report
hi i enjoyed your poem good write :) x


Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on September 27, 2011 03:52:06 PM Report
Wow, this is so very beautiful, what a great tribute to love this is Dan.   Henry
Comment By: FreeTristan on September 26, 2011 06:18:11 PM Report
Beautifully written, Dan, from depth of heart.  Starting with lines that seemed to be distant from each other -- unfamiliar neighbors acquainted by some bond that transcended them -- the thoughts gradually became coherent to each other...  a product of the reflections of the soul that was experiencing the memories and the history that had created each story...  the rhythm/choreography/meaning that was born from the stream of visions -- allowed almost any line to be expanded to create a volume of its own.  To join each thought and fantasy would be akin to knowing "how you would hold a moonbeam in your hand" -- and the beginning of knowing the whole of a person as only God can know her or him.  Thank you for sharing your reflections in such a wonderful piece of work.  Nicely done.  Tristan
Comment By: FreeKelly on September 26, 2011 05:33:41 PM Report
Wonderful.. I love the use of metaphor in the rhetorical questions..
It gives a wonderful; free feeling tone to the poem.




Kelly_xX

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 23, 2011 10:01:40 PM Report


What can I say as I read your heart on every verse...

This is just beautiful to read you have a very romantic heart...

HUgs ~ Scarlett

Comment By: Freee. Gene Myers on September 22, 2011 04:00:51 PM Report
WOW .... THAT HAS TO GO TO FAVORITES !!!  I've never had this happen before.  Usually a line or two in a person's poem will really speak to me, but in this poem EVERY line spoke with a shout.  It was as though you were using my brain and memories to write your poem.  It was just plain beautiful.  Just so's you know, in June I went by my old climbing tree.  I must have been nuts in my youth.  I wouldn't even venture a try any more.  And the "tunnel we used to crawl through is nothing more than a 20 inch pipe, if it's that big.  No wonder why my mother about killed us when she saw what we had been crawling through.  I'd have blistered my daughter's butts if they had ever done that.

the lines I liked most were ....


"The artist can lift a face out of the crowd. "




"What is love without the pain?

One will lose and one will gain.

What is love without the pain?

One will lose and one will gain."



"Behind is a tree with a heart and arrow that will forever be."




Loved it

Gene









 


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