|I am afraid.
The fear; it's always been here. The center of my world.
The center of me.
The ambition bleeds from me, only to be accompanied by the fear
that I shall never be satisfied.
And yet, it's that very fear that drives me on.
So eager I am to long for the impossible; to dabble in the splendors of the envied,
that I have forgotten the spoils of simplicity.
The beauty that is
But nothing can hold me, I fear.
I fear nothing can hold me.
Oh, but hold me, and drag me down with you
into the squallers of what I have forgotten is best for me.
What is best for me?
I'm afraid to ask.
I fear the callings of a human heart as I hold out for something better.
But what could be better?
I know not, myself.
But I seek them, and I will resist you until the bitter end.
It is just my way, I think; to live
And so, I will always run, chasing after beams of the sun.
The frivolous joys that warm our hearts
always have a way of making us cold in the end.
But I tread in dark waters, as I always have,
and maybe someday I will see the shore.
If before then, I have not already drowned.
But I have never feared drowning;
I have only feared being rescued.