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Author Name: FreeTomahawk 4 Comments
Date Added: March 08, 2012 20:03:05 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Free Verse
Category: Depression Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Phrase Bank Challenge -- My Final Answer
Across a rose fence, one chilly October afternoon 
As I gazed skyward, I saw a curious sight forming
There was this dark force, piercing the clouds up ahead
I saw migratory birds take flight from the direct north
 
And I thought, how ephemeral this life truly is, in fact
The taste of rain in the air precluded my further witness
Through thin clothes, I feel the misting precipitation
I head for the house, she greets my gaze with disdain
 
We have been at odds for some time now, to my regret
The ebb tide of our marriage was in the offing long ago
Shorter kisses, longer quarrels, I was at my wit's end
The magic was gone, I consoled myself in drinking hard
 
Everyday coincidences left my mind reeling and inane
All the signals were in place, she and I were finished
I soon found that drink was no island of stability for me
But I did come to an inexorable conclusion overall
 
There's a potential for each moment we live without reason
To reconsider humanity and it's faux pas would be sensible
Where lights of civilization cannot corrupt the human condition
And all that was fair and just wasn't a selfish notion, predicated by the stooges of the ruling class
 
I now knew what I would do, my head was clear, I was now at peace
And so, on a night full of stars, I reached my final answer
And said goodbye to love....and life.
Author's Notes:
Suicide is painless. This offering to Linda Jo's phrase bank challenge.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on March 21, 2012 12:24:13 PM Report


 HOW ...Did I miss this brilliant poem..??

 as I read the hurt consumed me I know of this misery....

 Any of us who have lived knows wht hurt and dissappointment can do to ones mind....

 Hugs and love my friend...

 Always ~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeFirestone Feinberg on March 9, 2012 10:42:57 AM Report
What a clear expression of your painful feelings!  You are a Knight.  Sometimes the real rough situations are in the heart: and there is the battlefield, what?  You survived.  I'll hear not of suicide.  --Dave
Comment By: FreeAlistair Muir on March 9, 2012 01:20:25 AM Report
An excellent contemporary write -- a splendid read



Alistair

Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on March 8, 2012 09:50:50 PM Report


wow! So raw and so real.  It hurt to read this because I could feel where it was going. But with the line, "where lights of civilization cannot corrupt the human condition" ...well that whole stanza actually, is so powerfully positive that I have to disagree with the final conclusion in the author's notes (suicide is painless). Saying good bye to love is painful...but life doesn't have to end there.


 


Wonderful use of the phrase bank...especially how you explained the ebb tide of marriage by, "shorter kisses, longer arguements".  Home run on this one!!





 


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