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Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 11 Comments
Date Added: September 24, 2012 05:09:52 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Free Verse
Category: General Add To Favorites | Text Only
Mother taught us ballet by forcing our feet
into confining toe-shoes and cracking whips
around juvenile spirits,
as if wed somersaulted from the womb
to dance by instinct on color-coded foot charts.

We learned to prepare for disasters, build
fallout shelters while she bombarded us 
with moods as minacious as Hiroshima.

We practiced self-preservation before we could write our names:
every morning wed sharpen saber and wit on each others whet-bones,
dig moats around our hearts and stock them with piranhas.

Writing her love into a contract comprised
of double-talk and foreign parlance, she finessed
the fine point scrawled in Cyrillic symbols
across the bottom of a page too dark to decipher
and signed it in blood.

Everything was transitory,
conditional and subject to repossession.
Even our umbilical cords had been tied with slipknots. 

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Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on November 1, 2013 02:57:28 PM Report

We practiced self-preservation before we could write our names:

every morning wed sharpen saber and wit on each others whet-bones,

dig moats around our hearts and stock them with piranhas.




Talk about strong metaphors...This is a heart-wrenching look into a troubled childhood. I actually didn't know you were still on this site, Jolen. I just happened to see a comment you had left. Hope all is well with you, kid. Sean is now almost 22...How does that happen?????? len

Comment By: PremiumLindaM on February 4, 2013 06:54:17 AM Report

Superior poem written by a superior poet.

Wonderful use of metapor to express your feelings.

Regards, Linda

Comment By: Freenoah count on December 1, 2012 06:09:57 PM Report
A well honed "Mommie Dearest".  The last lines are superb.  n

Comment By: FreeMike on October 13, 2012 12:17:05 PM Report
Very original. I like it.
Comment By: PremiumTristan on October 6, 2012 11:41:26 AM Report
Wow!  You have perfectly described the alchemy of context which creates the "double bind" for children, and hence the potential for unexplainable outcomes.  There is a mysteriousness in these lines that is, in many ways, beautiful because you can see it, identify it, describe it -- but it cannot own you...  I refer to the past.  You can insulate yourself from it, but the question then has to be answered, "does the wall that separates you from this craziness create a barrier or a prison?"  Its up to you.  Wonderful writing.  Tristan
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 25, 2012 01:22:33 PM Report
You need to be a teacher..... You just have this way about you ..always a new lession to learn...
Comment By: PremiumDan J. Mazurek on September 25, 2012 12:32:34 PM Report

Your definitely in a poetry class Jolen of your own.

Another lesson learned as your poetry has grown.


Comment By: PremiumKymberly Donn on September 24, 2012 04:19:41 PM Report

Hugs~Cinders~Building a bigger ballroom

Comment By: FreeTomahawk on September 24, 2012 04:17:27 PM Report

I dunno anyone that makes better use of metaphor than you and how you tie it all in with images and relevance. Excellent, Jolen!



Comment By: FreeAdri on September 24, 2012 08:53:07 AM Report
Wow, what a journey...  The last line tie it all together. It is a brilliant write. I love the you current directing on writing 

Comment By: PremiumHarry William Harborne on September 24, 2012 07:19:13 AM Report

Bravo! I know that mother, not mine I am glad to say, when her son Graham nearly cut his finger off he ran into the kitchen crying "I've lost a finger" His mother's reply was, and how many does that leave Graham!

Wonderful poetry. Bill H


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