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Author Name: PremiumByronBabe 7 Comments
Date Added: November 04, 2012 20:11:30 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Absolute Quietude...Retourne
A final stroll along the beach
melancholy cry of the gulls
recalls words spoken on parting
accented by the crashing waves

Melancholy cry of the gulls
breaks through my silent reflection
as the sun sets, time slips away
leaving only vague impressions

Recalls words spoken on parting
echos of a rebounding door
leaving absolute quietude
bags, now packed, waiting in the drive

Accented by the crashing waves
the cottage now devoid of life
missing melody of laughter
stands alone, abandoned, outcast
Author's Notes:
I was introduced to this form by Ken aka meaningless. Thank you for the challenge and the help in meeting it.
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'Absolute Quietude...Retourne' Copyright © Kymberly Donn
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on December 20, 2012 12:40:49 PM Report
This really brings to home the lonliness the passage of time often brings...BTW...Might wanna drop one of your meloncholy references. You have that word in the first AND second stanza....unca len
Comment By: PremiumDan J. Mazurek on November 14, 2012 06:08:02 PM Report


Awesome


you got to love a poem about the beach


well done.

Comment By: PremiumLinda Jo on November 5, 2012 07:47:51 PM Report
you captured the feeling of silence and helplessness when someone has to say good-bye.  this is a beauty!   melancholy and lonely and yet it seems to pull you back...like an undertow...
Comment By: FreeAdri on November 5, 2012 02:31:55 AM Report
Great form, fantastic write Kym. The rhythm works perfectly, and you sculptured it into something special! 
Adri 

Comment By: FreeFirestone Feinberg on November 4, 2012 09:09:19 PM Report
This is almost like a dejas vu for me -- I got the feeling I had read it before.  Strange.  Absolutely beautiful retourne.  You seem to be comfortable in the form.  Let's see more of these from you, what?  --David
Comment By: FreeFirestone Feinberg on November 4, 2012 09:09:07 PM Report
This is almost like a dejas vu for me -- I got the feeling I had read it before.  Strange.  Absolutely beautiful retourne.  You seem to be comfortable in the form.  Let's see more of these from you, what?  --David
Comment By: FreeTomahawk on November 4, 2012 09:04:05 PM Report


Excellent work, Kym, you did the form well, as always you do.


 


Len





 


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