I wouldn't call you a "hoarder"
because you had an intended use
for everything in your stash.
Each wire, tool, copper pipe and pencil drawing
were catalogued and stored within your industrial mind.
Three sheds were packed with what you called "valuable stuff."
Yet your weekly trips to Goodwill were proof that there is
always one more treasure to salvage.
Oh how I wish I could have heard some gypsy jazz
from your hand-made cigar box guitar.
You lived by Grandma's rule..."Clean as you go."
Of course, she meant in the kitchen
taking pride by having all the dishes done
before anyone sits down to supper.
But if you could have opened your heart to your son,
who is wise despite his age,
he would have taught you to extend that concept
beyond the obvious and uncover the things worth searching for.
Mistakes abound in personal relationships...just talk it out,
apologize, forgive, and repair... "Clean as you go."
Some have questioned,
"what was the proverbial curtain
between Wayland and the deep blue sea?"
So many mysteries locked inside a troubled heart.
Writing poetry gave you permission to be the person
you are on the inside, or perhaps the person you longed to be;
Someone balanced, standing tall and solid.
Neither a person filled with insecurities
nor overpowered with guilt and false confidence from the bottle.
Rehab attempted to teach the Twelve Steps...
just talk it out, apologize, forgive, and repair...Just like Tyler would say,
"clean as you go."
In your last year of physical decline
you searched the scriptures
for answers to spiritual enlightenment, personal salvation;
You placed your hope in a cure. But isn't spirituality a matter of knowing God's Purpose,
having respect for His Divine Name, and becoming His friend?
Only God knows your prayers.
When I talked to you about the hope of living in the Paradise,
I heard you say, "sign me up, I want to live again and
work in God's Garden."
Parting words and lessons learned...
Oh, if you had only known the wisdom of your son;
You would have grasped the deeper meaning behind Grandma's rule.
And you would also know...
Family is the greater Treasure.