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Author Name: FreeRawice 0 Comments
Date Added: September 16, 2020 10:09:17 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Formatted Version
 
Getting old Comedy Set
It’s good to be here… but at 80, it’s good to be anywhere. So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been. Growing old is compulsory – growing up is optional. Sometimes I feel that I’m not just aging… I’m decomposing. I am so old…my dreams are in black and white. Inside of me is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.  I learned that after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex. I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me. Growing old’s like being increasingly penalized for a crime I haven't committed. Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions. There’s one advantage to being 80, there’s no peer pressure. People seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older;  then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam. Having Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. When you are about 35 years old, something terrible always happens to music. Girls used to come up to me and say, "My sister loves you.” Now they say, "My mother loves you.” When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business. It was tough growing up in Florida because all my friends were retired. You know you are  older when "Happy Hour” is a nap. At eighty  how do you feel when getting up in the morning? … Amazed!
Author's Notes:
One of my Stand Up Comedy sets
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