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Author Name: Freedyoung 2 Comments
Date Added: March 20, 2004 16:03:39 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Text Only
Sir Faulty
It began during one of the blackest of storms
As the kingdom was besieged in fright.
The princess, so fair, was stolen from her bed
And carried off into the night.

The king cried for weeks and weeks
As his subjects were taken with terror.
All of the knights were away on quests
Except for Sir Faulty Error.

When the king heard this news, he fell into a trance
For he knew his daughter was as good as dead.
And rather than offer his services,
Sir Faulty was found fishing instead.

But he was their only hope indeed!
So they sent him on his way at once
To save the princess and their mesmerized king
Who hadn't spoken in months.

So he set out on his journey through the Forest Grim
On his not-so-trustworthy, off-white gelding,
And the kingdom watched him off
And felt their hopes all melting.

At last he came to a tall, dark tower
And from within it came strange sounds.
Bravely he lit from his horse-ish
And tumbled to the ground.

At that moment, three men dressed in red
Grabbed him and started to shout.
Poor Sir Faulty had such a fright,
That he reeled around and passed out.

As he turned, though, he knocked over two men
And only one remained.
But the commotion gave the horse such a scare,
He took off and choked the last man in the reigns.

When Sir Faulty awoke and got to his feet
The two others were still out cold.
And having not remembered how they fell,
He renamed himself Sir Faulty The Bold.

He charged the tower with all that he had...
Which was nothing. Not even a plan.
And as he entered the doors,
He ran into a most hideous man.

His cloak was of black leather it seemed
And his face was a long, pale orb.
His hair hung from his head to his waist
Where upon hung a cold, silver sword.

Red eyes stared into Sir Faulty's
They glowed and were as piercing as flames.
He grinned and bared sharpened teeth
Then told Sir Faulty his name.

"I am Ed, Ruler of Evil.
And also this castle of doom.
Upstairs you'll find the princess
Locked in the highest room."

"But first, you must try to get past me
And my magic is, hmmm, fair to midland.
And since the poet can't think of a word that rhymes,
I'm now going to say the word INLAND!!!!!!!"

Sir Faulty shrank back in horror
And crashed into a man of armor
Whose sword sprang forward and pierced Ed's heart
And left him dead in the castle parlor.

Thus, Sir Faulty rescued the princess
And returned her to her father.
And there was much rejoicing and gaiety
And drinking of stuff much stronger than water.

Sir Faulty The Bold never went far again.
The rest of his days he left open to read.
Only one good thing came from him thereafter...
Neither he nor his horse ever did breed.

Author's Notes:
I don't know. Written many years ago. Posted out of whimsey.
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Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on March 20, 2004 06:33:10 PM Report
HAHAHA Dori strikes again. "His not-so-trusty, off-white gelding"? His "horse-ish"? Wild and funny situations. One snafu after another. Thank goodness, "Neither he nor his horse ever did breed." This is just too much. I love it.
Comment By: FreePaul Peter McLean on March 20, 2004 06:16:45 PM Report
This is great Dori. Very funny, especially where you insert yourself into it. Well done.


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